It’s a tired old trope:
Good relationships require compromise.
I call bullshit. Not only that, but I also call hard limit.
Do you even KNOW what compromise is?
1. an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
Ok, that doesn’t sound too bad. But what IS a concession? It’s what happens when you concede. Know what that means?
1. Admit defeat in a contest.
2. surrender or yield (something that one possesses)
Really? You think that’s OK to ask of me? You think it’s OK to create a relationship where contesting each other is the norm, then force your partner to concede?
You know another definition for compromise?
2. the acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable.
Ewww. No. Not just no.
FUCK NO! I will not:
- Enter a relationship of any kind (friendship, lovers, marriage) where we contest against each other.
- Choose to lower my standards to make a relationship work.
- Give up the things I love and want in my life for you.
- Create a relationship where I would ask you to do those things, either.
And I will thank you very much not to ask me to do it, because it’s like you’re saying, “I know your stated (or exhibited) thoughts, feelings and needs on this, but mine are way more important, so you should give up some of yours.”
And somehow, it’s even worse if you are willing to give up your own.
Really? You’ll lower your standards to be with me? Whelp. Don’t that make me feel special?
On the other hand…
Fuck Yeah, I will:
Come to you with my needs and desires, and I will expect you to come to me with yours, and we will help each other get all that we’ve ever wanted, to fulfill our fantasies and experience our dreams, to the best of our abilities (I can’t, at this point in my life put my knees behind my ears… we might need to bring in a stunt double for that that scene).
I’ll even go one or even several steps beyond that.
I’ll share myself and offer even more than I know you want, and show you other things you may have never dreamed of or looked for that add joy and laughter and love and more to your life when you are with me and when we are apart.
And I will fuck compromise. Fuck it right in it’s shitty little concessions.