“A person who is nice to you, but is not nice to the waiter, is not a nice person.”
People who are mean to those who serve, those who have less, those
who they do not feel can help them, or directly benefit them are not
They are users.
They are self-centered.
Possibly narcissistic, and possibly socio/psychopathic, lacking empath and likely compassion.
(Which, in and of itself is not bad, but without compassion, it can be a nasty thing.)
“A person who has only mean things to say about their exes will probably eventually only have mean things to say about you.”
When a person has been the victim in every relationship they have,
and chooses to focus on only the negatives with their exes, or place all
the blame on others may not be that way to you right now—they weren’t
that way with their exes to begin with, either, I’m guessing.
(Sort of hard to get into a relationship by being overtly asshole-ish, although some manage it.)
However, if you have a falling out, know that’s how they will probably talk about you.
And that’s probably how they talk about you in their head, too. When they’re not getting what they want.
A friend reached out yesterday about pattern interrupts, because I’ve been preaching them for years, and they had an ‘Ah-ha!’ they wanted to share. They graciously gave me permission to share the conversation with you, because as we talked, I felt like they touched on parts of the pattern interrupt process that are rarely discussed, and I never thought to bring up.
But first, let’s talk about pattern interrupts.
What are they, and why might they be good?
A pattern interrupt is a technique to change a particular thought, behavior or situation. Behavioral psychology and neuro linguistic programming use this technique to interrupt and change thought patterns and behaviors.
I love coconut oil as a personal lubricant. LOVE it.
It’s the only lube I keep around at all times.
I keep it in a small container next to my bed, available for massages and all other manner of sexy things.
I recommend it in my anal play class and books and in my orgasm class.
And I recommended it to someone in a Facebook poly group who has been
having trouble with staying wet. Many people had the same thoughts:
coconut oil was the most recommended single lube in the thread.