Dating Kinky
Built by kinksters for kinksters, poly, queer, trans folk, and anyone not-quite-vanilla—and it’s FREE.

Guest Post by _Vidar_ (FetLife link)

“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.”
Niccolo Machiavelli

That doesn’t sound like a relationship I’d like to be in, either as the giver or reciever of fear, but there’s a kernel of applicable wisdom in there.

Awhile back (I wouldn’t recommend this) my first scenes with a few women were very severe and in every case, we developed interesting relationships that had legs. That was probably part luck, but there was more to it than that. From the outset, my willingness to be brutal was never in question

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The Big Book Of Ass: All about anal play and pleasure, including training, communication, safety, and more is the second Dating Kinky Presents book.

This is Nookie’s second book all about butt stuff, the first In Through The Out Door was published in 2015. In The Big Book of Ass, Nookie and kinksters from around the world answer your biggest questions about playing with your (or someone else’s) backside.

Here’s a sneak preview:

The Big Book Of Ass is scheduled to release on July 1, 2019 (watch for giveaways and promotions),  with free downloads on Amazon August 1-3, 2019.

The Big Book of Ass is part of the Dating Kinky Presents series of books, a new book series I’m creating to educate about kink in a friendly and approachable way.

It’s my goal to share not only my own experiences, but the experiences and ideas of other kinksters on each topic. As we all know, there is no WON TWOO WAY, and a variety of voices and perspectives will speak to the amazing variety of kinksters in our community.

If you’d like to receive notifications of new kink book releases, and reminders about when you can download books for free, choose an option below:

Seriously.

Don’t.

You don’t know me.

(Well, you probably don’t. Most people who read my writings don’t know me. Not well enough to trust me.)

So, don’t.

Don’t take me at my word.

Don’t believe what I say.

Don’t make changes in your life because of me.

Because you don’t really know me. And you don’t know what my purposes are in writing all these…counts…773 blogs.

You don’t know whether I’ve done my research (or whether I’m cherry-picking links) or I’m talking out my ass. Whether I use alternative facts or not. Whether I give two shits (or less) about you and your personal growth, relationship success, or kink endeavors.

I might be trying to subvert the world. Create unthinking automatons. Make kink into the image I see in my head. Or, maybe I want to sow chaos and insanity.

(Sometimes the comments almost convince me of that last one, LOL!)

I may just be WRONG with all the best intentions.

Thing is, I don’t want you to trust me. Not with what I write here. Not even that I look like my pictures.

(I don’t—I really only choose the ones that look FAR better than my daily visage, and that should tell you how hideous I truly am on the street).

Challenge me.

Fact-check me.

Look for ways to prove me wrong.

Make up your own damn mind.

Or don’t. That’s your right also.

I’m just telling you that I don’t want you to trust me.

Unless I earn it.

Image by Анна Куликова from Pixabay

Compare and contrast these two belief systems and reactions…

In a message on FetLife, to me:

why men are strong because first thing men don’t cry, not stereotyping ladies but I think what ladies need to learn is to hold tears very well. your tears and your beliefs are your energy.

And this conversation on the men’s dominance forums I participate in:

P SAID:

S’s pleasures shifted also to deep emotional feelings as I fucked her in a caressing way, face to face, eye to eye, it was very powerful and deeply bonding, S capitulated into tears as I turned her on her side to face me. Me telling S to keep crying, to keep orgasming from her eyes, to let it all out, to feel herself being cleansed as the tears flowed.

I then kissed S’s tears saying I was making it all better now, that she was safe, that I was looking after her, to continue to keep orgasming from her eyes, it was very powerful and moving as I moved S to a relaxed state, with S’s pussy continuing to throb, me telling S to stop orgasming, all the way, all the way down, slowly stopping, all the way down, stopped. S’s orgasms and throbbing stopping right on cue, as I said it.

THEN L SAID:

It breaks a huge taboo.

All our lives, as women we are shamed for being emotional. We are told our emotions prove we’re weak. We are especially taught that it is unacceptable to cry in front of another person.

To take pleasure from crying? Fucking huge taboo!

Talk about forcing her to reveal her deepest darkest self! Talk about making her feel accepted on a level that seems beyond the humanly possible. Talk about insane intimacy.

What are your thoughts?

Which of these is more empowering to you? Do either strike you as wrong or right, or just different perspectives? How do you value your own tears?

If you’re willing to share your gender with your views, please do.

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay