Dating Kinky
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I have long desired a truly strapless experience for play with dildos, and I’ve tried a few options. Unfortunately, all were disappointing.

They were too hard and pokey (I guess that’s why they thought they needed to maintain the “shape”), they were oddly shaped, or the ‘inner bits’ were just…not shaped right.

Some were good enough for use on women, but failed miserably when engaged with the much stronger muscles of the anus, which is my primary interest.

I kept up hope, but I admit that my optimism was fading.

Then, while I was researching my latest book on butt stuff (The Big Book of Ass), someone mentioned the InJoyUs. I went to check it out, of course, even though I was deeply skeptical. After all, I’d read glowing reviews of all the others I’ve tried, and NONE of them really worked like anyone said.

I was thinking, “Maybe I’m the weirdo, here,” not for the first time.

But the InJoyUs LOOKED different right off the bat. Something about it seemed better-thought-out. A small flame of hope sprung up, and I sent an email.

“Something, something, blah, blah, blah. InJoyUs was recommended, and I’d love to review it for inclusion in my book, if it works. More yadda yadda…”

And so, not long after, I got my review box.

Now, John at New Love Creations had already mentioned that he’d gotten a bit of flack for his packaging, and when I opened it up, I could see why. It’s certainly not what I would expect for a product of the price and caliber I was expecting, and could use an update for sure.

However, I wasn’t going to be sticking packaging in my or my partner’s butt, so it was easy to open it up and look at the product itself.

Because I’d talked some with John about how he’d designed, tested and engineered this thing, I was prepared for it to feel solid. And it does. I was almost concerned with HOW solid it felt, like the weight might be detrimental.

It was not at all. More on that in a bit.

I got the InJoyUs in my package, along with the Lily and Lela dildos. Two very different sizes/shapes.

All are made from pure platinum grade silicone, which is pretty much a must for me these days. It’s body-safe, odorless, hypoallergenic, and super easy to clean. Just pop those babies in the top rack of the dishwasher, or clean with bleach.

The InJoyUs has a stabilizer inside it (it’s not visible, nor can it be felt) of a super-strong metal, to maintain shape and erection angle, which I really like.

But NONE of that mattered if it didn’t feel good and stay in.

And it took a couple of days for me to make the scene happen, and I was chomping at the bit to try it out.

A set of detailed instructions came with the toys, which I looked over, and promptly ignored.

LOL!

Seriously, though, while I believe the instructions are needed, and they are well-done, I figured I had this.

After all, one of the reasons I want a strapless solution is to make this sort of play more spontaneous and less fussy. If I can’t just pop it in and go, then it won’t really add value to my life.

So, I chose to wing it, and wing it I did.

Well, I did realize that Step 1 was critical after popping the internal portion, and feeling an urgent need to pee.

So, that taken care of (and lesson learned), it was back to play.

Without going into graphic details, the results were overwhelmingly positive for butt play with my male partner.

  • InJoyUs was easy to insert.
  • It felt both solid and secure in place.
  • We played with the Lily to start, and it has a nice extra clitoral stimulation pad.
  • Both my g-spot and clitoris were happily stimulated.
  • It stayed in, and felt good—I orgasmed more than a few times.

Definitely overwhelmingly positive.

There were a few hiccups:

  • It takes some time, I think, to get used to the angle and use. This was our first time, and we tried cowgirl, missionary (plus variations) and lotus positions. Pretty basic, and successful, although learning the angle of thrust was a thing. Fun to learn, though!
  • When I orgasm hard, I’ve been know to push out a VERY enthusiastic dick. The same is true of the InJoyUs. However, I was totally OK with this, as it stayed in for the rest of the time, and frankly, I often bet against strong, determined men staying in there when I clamp down and push in the throes. As a friend said this morning, “They just need to say it has an ejection feature when the mission is accomplished!” LOL!
  • The angle, to me, seemed like it ‘used up’ a bit of the length of the toy. The Lily is measured at 7 inches insertable. My partner and I both agreed that another inch would have been perfect. Now, that could be because I’m a “thicc” girl, and it did have to get out past my thighs, but not all users are gonna be teeny-tiny. (The next person to try this out is gonna be a much smaller woman, so we’ll have additional feedback when that happens.)

All in all, I am feeling the first flushes of infatuation with this system, and expect that if things continue, I’ll be in love.

I look forward to using the Lela as well, and would LOVE to see more options of shapes and sizes in dildos from New Love Creations, so that I can continue using the InJoyUs for all dildo fuckery in the future.

https://newlovecreations.com/shop/

This is part 1 of a multi-part review of this product over time and by multiple people. Keep an eye out for more.

Not inherently so, anyway.

Let me explain.

Also, before I explain, let me say that I am not proselytizing. I have no desire to convert you to the cult of poly. IDGAF if you are poly or mono or decidedly alone. I post these “Poly Is Not” writings to combat some group-think and stereotypes that often hold little basis in reality. If you are completely unwilling to share a partner’s sexuality and love, that’s fine. You do you.

Ok, that all said, let me say clearly: Poly is not necessarily less of someone than monogamy.

Because in polyamory or monogamy, you could be with a partner who you adore in every way. Who is responsive to you, who meshes with you wonderfully in non-sexual ways.

They could be naturally monogamous, and not open to other options.

You could have the same partner, who is open to sharing, and enjoying time with others.

In either case, you could ruin the potential because you would “want more,” rather than enjoying what you and they have, and taking pleasure as it comes to you.

Which, is, of course your right. Especially if you are monogamous.

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In 2015, I wrote this piece about No Regrets, and it’s recently come back up in conversation.

@Lilianthorn mentioned self-image issues leading to regret, and I said that regret, to me, is more a boundary issue than a self-image issue, and she asked me to clarify.

I started to write, and realized this might be a better writing on boundaries…

To clarify, soft personal boundaries are often a result of self-image issues, so there is that link. I don’t think it’s as direct as posited, though.

regret

feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).

So, there are two aspects, In the case of my No Regrets writing, I’m speaking specifically to regrets over what HAS been done.

And generally, people regret things they’ve done because they crossed their own picket lines, broke their boundaries, consented to things they did not want to consent to, etc.

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I’m writing a book for FAD—Female Artists of Domination, my local FemDom group. ALL of the profits from this book are going to FAD, as a thank you for the many years (17 this September, right?) of amazing support and service they have given my local community.

Dating Kinky Presents: FLR, FemDom & Women In Charge: Finding, nurturing, and enjoying a woman-led lifestyle.

Here’s the cover as it’s designed right now:

Book cover: A tall boot in light grey with words over the top: 

Dating Kinky Presents: FLR, FemDom & Women In Charge: Finding, nurturing, and enjoying a woman-led lifestyle. 

by: The Members of FAD, NookieNotes & Company
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