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A day in the life of a professional kinkster…

I get asked if I sit around all day thinking about sex. Yes. I get asked if I get to “research” porn. Yes. I get asked how I can get anything done, because (of course) the person querying me can’t understand how I keep my hands out of my pants. It’s easy. Hi, I’m Nookie, […]

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Some people are shitty people…

…and some people find themselves in shitty situations, behaving shittily towards others, but they aren’t really shitty people. (I’m pretty sure YOU have been there. So have I. Maybe you’re a shitty person. I’m betting you’re not. Neither am I.) The thing is, though, to the people getting the shit end of the stick, it […]

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Happy Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day!

Let’s shine some light on the Pan identities today. Pan is a root word meaning all: Pan is the attraction to people of all genders, or where the gender of the person is not a contributing factor to attraction. Pansexual is the sexual attraction to all genders and Panromantic is the romantic attraction to all […]

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Just stating the facts

Are you? Are you really? Because most of the time when people pull this piece of garbage saying out of their mouths, they are not only NOT stating facts (usually hugely inflated opinions, actually), but they are often not “just” anything. They are also throwing in a huge does of smugness, meanness, superiority and more. […]

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Are you proud?

Look 👀 at your kinky life. Your relationships, your skills, how you feel. Are you proud of where you are? Has your hard work (and sometimes luck) paid off for you? What areas are not quite there yet? Be honest with yourself. And then, ask yourself, “What would it take to make me strong in […]

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The shit you HAVE to do in relationships…

Pretty often, in comments I get a specific thought posted in varied words from numerous sources. I HAVE to do ______ (and I don’t want to), to find/have/keep a relationship. And there is often an example: I’d rather be playing a video game/reading a book/chilling with friends, but instead I have to TALK things through […]

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Experience and fantasy are not the same.

In fact, they are often wildly different. This is true in kink, in nonmonogamy—in anything you might get revved up about. Which, I’m pretty sure you know, if you stop to think about it. And yet, it’s always worth saying. Especially to a group of eager kinky newbies, wanting to try ALL THE THINGS. Because […]

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