Blogs.

Just what IS an orgasm?

Just what IS an orgasm?

(Fun fact: This makes orgasm a metonymy, a figure of speech wherein a concept is referred to by something closely associated with it.) When I type ‘orgasm’ into Google, this is what comes up as a definition:  or·gasm/ˈôrˌɡazəm/nouna climax of sexual excitement,...

“Poly” as lip service?

“Poly” as lip service?

With It's Not Cheating coming up this weekend, and over 1,000 RSVPs for this event, I’m pretty much steeped in nonmonogamy discussion, talks, thinking, writing, producing, promoting…well, lots of it. And over the years, this topic keeps coming up… People ask me all...

Be more right.

Be more right.

No one can be 100% right. Not me, not you, not anyone. It's pretty dang easy to be wrong, though. Super easy. Which is frustrating. It's easy to be wrong, it takes constant effort to be as right as possible in any given situation, and we'll still fail pretty regularly...

I said, “Don’t do that again,” not “You did wrong.”

I said, “Don’t do that again,” not “You did wrong.”

I was not instructing you to feel bad. I did not say you did the wrong thing.I simply told you not to do that again, or to do something else. Completely different things. Oh, I know that SOME people (no matter who they are, or where they fall on the spectrum) think...

The weight of the idea of THE ONE…

The weight of the idea of THE ONE…

Last night, I hosted Life in Submission, despite the fact that I'm not a submissive. To bolster my cred, I brought along @selene73 (Happy Birthday to her!) to share her perspectives as a submissive on the idea that you have to have power in order to exchange it. It...

It’s not who you are. It’s who I see you as.

It’s not who you are. It’s who I see you as.

And vice versa. Not long ago, I wrote about the damage I have done some people not seeing them as they wished to be seen. This is my rebuttal to myself, since I often come down on both sides of an issue. On a previous writing, @UnicornHusbandry said: It should be a...

On being understood, intuitively…

On being understood, intuitively…

I've written in the past about abuse in a relationship and recovering from it. And when today's topic popped up on my calendar, it instantly connected. When I got married, I believed that my husband understood me. This belief is what ultimately led me to being abused....

true VS. TRUTH

true VS. TRUTH

When we watch a movie, we can feel our emotions being manipulated. "I can't quit you!" We can feel the tug of our heartstrings. We can cry. We can laugh. All of this is true. We are truly feeling those things. They may be a result of manipulating a situation. That's...

Shitty fucking behavior is still shitty—even when they stay.

Shitty fucking behavior is still shitty—even when they stay.

Yesterday, I wrote about using sex as a weapon, and how it's shitty. I specifically pointed out in the piece that withholding sex is your right. That libidos fail for many reasons, including psychological (not wanting sex is 100% valid). And yet, I still got the "No...

Using Sex As A Weapon

Using Sex As A Weapon

It's a fucking insidious evil thing. And it's so easy. And sometimes not even a conscious habit. Worse, it's often hard to tell when it's intentional, and when it's not. Let's talk about the ways sex can be used to hurt and harm within a relationship: Withholding Sex...

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