A Tale Of Two Cocks

A Tale Of Two Cocks

I know these cocks. Two wonderful, amazing cocks. Each owns a perfectly average guy.

One cock, let’s call him S, owns a 5’9″ Italian guy with a cheeky smile and a dad bod.

The other cock, B, owns a wiry 6’1″ Latino man with a slouch, a shock of dark hair and a twinkle in his eye.

Their people are very different. S enjoys hiking all over the world, eschews carbs and alcohol (mostly), while B is a bit anti-social and loves nothing more than playing guitar, smoking “hippy lettuce,” and drinking vodka.

And both cocks LOVE sex.

Like, a lot.

S is about 7″ long, of average thickness, and can be a bit shy around more than one woman at a time (although he’s getting over that!).

B is 9″ long, about 7″ around, and gets hard when the fan blows him. Even in awkward situations.

Continue reading “A Tale Of Two Cocks”

A Labor Of Love & Kink: My New Book, Dating Kinky, Is FREE Oct 1-3, 2018

Dating Kinky: How to find the kinky love of your fantasies.

I first had the idea to write Dating Kinky about three years ago, before I started my kinky dating site, or even intended to create one. In fact, the site grew out of the book, even if the book took longer to reach completion.

And now, it’s here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GMTCMBK

Live.

And free, today and tomorrow, through Amazon kindle.

YAY!

Super-YAY!

I really wanted to write a book that offers real, approachable, and actionable information on how to put yourself out there and meet kinky folk, poly people, fetishists and more—without making it sound like some sort of uber-secret society with special handshakes and a 117-point process for determining whether you are “TWOO” enough to get in.

Some of the things I cover:

  • Writing your profile
  • Picking your best pictures
  • Safety and privacy online
  • The first message
  • Community
  • Rejection (giving and getting)
  • And more…

I’ve put a lot into this book for the kinky community, and so have others.

Taylor J. Mace of http://www.feistyfoxfilms.com wrote a chapter on “Protocol Across The Miles.”

Protocol Across The Miles, by Taylor J. Mace, excerpt from Dating Kinky

Alex W. of  http://SexologyBae.com co-wrote “Don’t Believe Everything You Think,” about examining our assumptions and our attractions.

Beyond The First Date,” by Rebecca Blanton, author of “The Big Workbook for Submissives,” from http://loveletterstoaunicorn.com and https://www.fatchicksontop.com is an entire section about entering the kink community and making the most of it.

Luna Matatas of http://lunamatatas.com wrote “Five Things I Ask Potential Dominants Or Submissives Pre-Date,” an insightful guide to getting to know how people think their kink.

Other amazing people, like Ferns, Michael C., David Shade, and Franklin Veaux also contributed with their knowledge and presence in my life.

It’s been an amazing journey to get to this point, and I’m excited to share this with you.

I hope you’ll enjoy “Dating Kinky: How to find the kinky love of your fantasies.” and share it with others!

US Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GMTCMBK
UK Link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07GMTCMBK
DE Link: https://www.amazon.de/dp/B07GMTCMBK
FR Link: https://www.amazon.fr/dp/B07GMTCMBK
ES Link: https://www.amazon.es/dp/B07GMTCMBK
IT Link: https://www.amazon.it/dp/B07GMTCMBK
NL LInk: https://www.amazon.nl/dp/B07GMTCMBK
JP Link: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B07GMTCMBK
BR Link: https://www.amazon.com.br/dp/B07GMTCMBK
CA Link: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07GMTCMBK
MX Link: https://www.amazon.com.mx/dp/B07GMTCMBK
AU Link: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B07GMTCMBK

Just Be Yourself AND Be More Than That

FUCKITY FUCK Locks

When it comes to dating, people often say, “Just be yourself. Just be authentic.”

The problem with that is that a lot of us suck as humans.

In people, there is no magical STEP-BY-STEP FUCKITY FUCK PROCESS. Humans are not combination locks, to be opened with a series of moves.

And so, we not-so-good-at-being-human humans miss out on the FUCKITY FUCK (or whatever goodness of humanity: hugs, smiles, cuddling, deep love, satisfying orgasms… whatever).

Continue reading “Just Be Yourself AND Be More Than That”

Body Positivity AND Inclusivity…

Body Types Positivity

One of the things I’ve been focused on with Dating Kinky is creating an atmosphere of  kink, sex, and body positivity.

In the original site, I offered the following options for “body type” on profiles:

  • Average
  • Petite
  • Slim
  • Athletic
  • Curvy
  • A Little Extra
  • Muscular
  • BBW / BHM

In the new site, I’ve separated (by request):

  • BBW – Big Beautiful Woman
  • BHM – Big Handsome Man

As I’m working on these today, and preparing to migrate the old site data over to the new site, I was thinking about how we’ll let all the men know that we now have an option for them, when I was stopped in my (thinking) tracks.

This is a very binary view, no matter how body positive it is.

So, what to put in for the non-binaries?

  • BGP – Big Gorgeous Person?
  • FSP – Fluffy Sexy Person?
  • MFTL – More For The Lovin’?

What?

I’ll admit I’m pretty much lost in this one, and I’m asking YOU, the ones who might use a label like this, what you might want to see here.

Online Kinky Dating: The First Message, Part I

The First Message

Hello, would you be interested in talking about a prison role play based around the strict UK system I spent sometime as an inmate recently and it got me thinking
— Anon

No.
—NookieNotes in reply to Anon

When people ask me questions about kinky dating, especially online, the number one question is usually something like this, “What do I say?” or  like, “How do I approach KinkyDreamBoopsie705 online, get their attention, and quite possibly make a connection?”

A good first message will contain the following elements:

  • Introduction
  • Interest
  • Respect
  • Potential connection
  • Invitation

Introduction. Who are you? I can’t tell you how many times people write to me without actually introducing themselves. Continue reading “Online Kinky Dating: The First Message, Part I”

I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Called An Asshole For Responding.

Silence, woman!

This is the last of this particular series… although not the last of my daily writings.

The first two are here:

#1 I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Compared To An Alcoholic Or Druggie
#2 I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Derided For Posting My Dress Size

This one is short and sweet, since I’ve had a jam-packed weekend, and there’s really not much to it… except and example showing why many women don’t reply to responses to their Craigslist ads (or personal dating site ads, or FetLife random messages) when they are not interested, and even more, why women don’t say why (which I get asked 4 out of 5 times when I simply reply with, “No, thanks.”

In my ad, this is the last line:

If you think you fit this bill, reach out. Send me a note. Tell me what interested you about my ad, and include a face photo.

So, I get this reply, with a face photo:

I would like to date you  I am in Raleigh

Aside from the grammar, the lack of immediate attraction to the photo, and the brevity in response to a very detailed post, there is no ‘what interested him.’

And frankly, to me, it read as incredibly entitled. I want to date you. I’m in Raleigh. Great! Ignore all of the other criteria I listed, because you being in Raleigh is all I really need to know… Oh, and that you would actually date me, unlike EVERYONE else in the area, right?

My reply was (and I sent this to quite a few men:

Thank you for the offer.

I’m looking for someone who can follow my directions and enjoy it.

Best of luck to you in fulfilling your fantasies!

Two others wrote back, a bit disappointed and trying to change my mind or figure out what they forgot (out of only two things? really?). This guy stepped it up a notch.

next time just dont answer and keep ass hole remarks to youself. If you were special as you think you are you would not be posting on CL

So, I’m an asshole for turning him down, and giving him a reason.

And, on top of that, he has to tell me that I’m not special, because I’m posting an ad on a site he trolls for ads… and um, that he responded to…

Oh! The irony!

Dating Kinky, The Class

One of the most common questions I’m asked is, “Where Do I Find ______ (Fill In The Blank Amazing Kinky Person)?”

This class address that topic and others, including writing a profile, photos, starting a conversation, and more.

Dating Kinky Class Description:

In this class, we’ll cover some of the most important actions and attitudes for finding one or several lifestyle partners, from writing your profile and choosing the best photos to get your point across to making contact, common pitfalls, and some hilarious examples of ‘when personals go wrong!’

We’ll also discuss which online sites offer the best options for connecting with your kinky peeps.

This is a very interactive class, so bring your pencil or pen and some paper to write down those tips from the creator of https://www.datingkinky.com and the co-author of http://datingkinkybook.com


More about my thoughts on kinky dating:

Kinky Dating

 

Writing A Great Rejection In Four Easy Steps (And Two Are Optional!)

A cartoon girl holding hands out in front of herself, with an angry look of rejection.

Well, if any rejection can be great.

Maybe the title should be, “Writing A Rejection That Doesn’t Sting Any More Than It Has To To Get The Point Across In  Four Easy Steps (And Two Are Optional!),” but that’s reallllllly long, so I’mma stick with what I have.

I wrote a bit about rejection in my upcoming book, Dating Kinky.

Because, of course, rejection is a part of dating, and knowing how to both give it and take it more effectively makes dating sooooo much more pleasant.

You have a right to reject anyone for any reason.

Period.

Full stop.

Your life. Your rules. Continue reading “Writing A Great Rejection In Four Easy Steps (And Two Are Optional!)”

Kinky Dating: A New Example For The Book

A mostly dark black image with a man in red blowing a red smoke heart. Looks a bit disturbing.

Just Thursday, I was contacted by a self-identified male dominant on Collarspace for the first time. His message was short and sweet.

I replied.

His response inspired me, and I knew I had a perfect example of why, when it comes to dating kinky (or any kind of dating, really), I recommend making your profile very YOU, to disqualify those you don’t want to attract.

Continue reading “Kinky Dating: A New Example For The Book”