Dating Kinky
Built by kinksters for kinksters, poly, queer, trans folk, and anyone not-quite-vanilla—and it’s FREE.

When it comes to dating, people often say, “Just be yourself. Just be authentic.”

The problem with that is that a lot of us suck as humans.

In people, there is no magical STEP-BY-STEP FUCKITY FUCK PROCESS. Humans are not combination locks, to be opened with a series of moves.

And so, we not-so-good-at-being-human humans miss out on the FUCKITY FUCK (or whatever goodness of humanity: hugs, smiles, cuddling, deep love, satisfying orgasms… whatever).

Read More

One of the things I’ve been focused on with Dating Kinky is creating an atmosphere of  kink, sex, and body positivity.

In the original site, I offered the following options for “body type” on profiles:

  • Average
  • Petite
  • Slim
  • Athletic
  • Curvy
  • A Little Extra
  • Muscular
  • BBW / BHM

In the new site, I’ve separated (by request):

  • BBW – Big Beautiful Woman
  • BHM – Big Handsome Man

As I’m working on these today, and preparing to migrate the old site data over to the new site, I was thinking about how we’ll let all the men know that we now have an option for them, when I was stopped in my (thinking) tracks.

This is a very binary view, no matter how body positive it is.

So, what to put in for the non-binaries?

  • BGP – Big Gorgeous Person?
  • FSP – Fluffy Sexy Person?
  • MFTL – More For The Lovin’?

What?

I’ll admit I’m pretty much lost in this one, and I’m asking YOU, the ones who might use a label like this, what you might want to see here.

Hello, would you be interested in talking about a prison role play based around the strict UK system I spent sometime as an inmate recently and it got me thinking
— Anon

No.
—NookieNotes in reply to Anon

When people ask me questions about kinky dating, especially online, the number one question is usually something like this, “What do I say?” or  like, “How do I approach KinkyDreamBoopsie705 online, get their attention, and quite possibly make a connection?”

A good first message will contain the following elements:

  • Introduction
  • Interest
  • Respect
  • Potential connection
  • Invitation

Introduction. Who are you? I can’t tell you how many times people write to me without actually introducing themselves.

Read More