Communication At The Rope Room, Mebane, NC

The Rope Room

Soooo, I’ve been meaning to write about The Rope Room for a while, and today I have a GREAT excuse.

I’m teaching my second class there on Friday, March 29, 8-10pm.

I Command You To Understand! Communication In Power Exchange Relationships

This is one of my favorite classes, and a core class for kink, in my view.

I’m a HUGE fan of communication of all kinds, and I’ve been studying for years different techniques, and sharing them with others. This class is presented from the perspective of D/s, power exchange, and poly, while still applying to all relationships, kink and vanilla.

So, I’m excited to offer that class locally again. It’s been a few years.

You can RSVP on Fetlife here:

More, I’m excited to present at The Rope Room, because it’s a great new space in the area, and deserves our local love.

The Rope Room has been used primarily for rope events, as you might guess, and it has so much to offer for that.

Even more, as a gathering space for discussions and classes, it’s also quite suited, and my first class out there on FemDom topics was comfortable, well-organized, and an all-around great experience.

The Rope Room is not a play space, as they are not insured for such things, but for rope, classes, gatherings and more, I think we’re quite lucky to have them.

I hope if your in the local area that you will join me for an evening of communication, socializing, and some edutainment!


Don’t Trust Me

Don't Trust Me



You don’t know me.

(Well, you probably don’t. Most people who read my writings don’t know me. Not well enough to trust me.)

So, don’t.

Don’t take me at my word.

Don’t believe what I say.

Don’t make changes in your life because of me.

Because you don’t really know me. And you don’t know what my purposes are in writing all these…counts…773 blogs.

You don’t know whether I’ve done my research (or whether I’m cherry-picking links) or I’m talking out my ass. Whether I use alternative facts or not. Whether I give two shits (or less) about you and your personal growth, relationship success, or kink endeavors.

I might be trying to subvert the world. Create unthinking automatons. Make kink into the image I see in my head. Or, maybe I want to sow chaos and insanity.

(Sometimes the comments almost convince me of that last one, LOL!)

I may just be WRONG with all the best intentions.

Thing is, I don’t want you to trust me. Not with what I write here. Not even that I look like my pictures.

(I don’t—I really only choose the ones that look FAR better than my daily visage, and that should tell you how hideous I truly am on the street).

Challenge me.

Fact-check me.

Look for ways to prove me wrong.

Make up your own damn mind.

Or don’t. That’s your right also.

I’m just telling you that I don’t want you to trust me.

Unless I earn it.

Image by Анна Куликова from Pixabay

NC Submissive Locals: I’m Teaching At The Submissive Safe Haven Symposium AGAIN!

Submissive Safe Haven

Damn! Soooooo exciting! My fifth year at SSH, and I’m thrilled.

They have grown so much in five years, and the value they offer to the submissive community is incalculable.

This year, I’m doing two classes built specifically for SSH (that will be added to my round-up after they are debuted there):

Dating Kinky: Hands-On Profile

I’ve already given my kinky dating class at SSH, and apparently, they want more. This class is about Dating Kinky, zeroing in on one of the biggest challenges we all face: How to present ourselves to the people we hope to meet for play, for dating, for love, and more. We’ll work together as a group on the dreaded self-focused essay and also give tips and collective suggestions on sharing photos and more.

Communication Across The Slash: For S-Types

Communication is communication, right? Well, yes. And no. For some, especially for submissives, it can be beyond difficult to speak up and say what needs to be said. In this class, we’ll discuss ways to share your thoughts with your D-Types and ideas for helping to build a framework of communication within your relationship to last you for decades.

Like I said, this is my fifth year being invited to teach, and not only am I honored at being asked back, but looking at the line up of teachers and topics, I’m thrilled to be part of such a group.

I hope to see you there!

Jacksonville, FL Locals: I’m Teaching for A.L.E In April!

Alternative Lifestyle Enthusiasts (A.L.E.) Logo

Super-thrilled to be teaching a double header for A.L.E. in Jacksonville on April 13th!

Over three hours, we’ll be covering both finding your feminine leadership style for FemDoms and how to yield your strength for alpha submissives (of any/every gender).

I’m geeked. I’ve never put these two classes together, but they are perfectly complementary, and touch on how we give and receive power from both sides of the slash.

For FemDom, we’ll talk about achetypes and common tropes, and how to grow beyond the limitations we often see presented to us.

For submissives, we’ll discuss the common issues of holding your strength and boundaries (because life is a thing), while also wanting nothing more than to give everything you have to the RIGHT dominant.

These two classes will combine in amazing ways, because the submissives attending will see the pressures and concerns dominants have, while the dominants attending will get insight into how submissives are often cast in one-dimensional roles as well, and can be so much more in service when accepted for the multi-faceted amazing humans they are.

I’m looking forward to meeting new kinksters in Jacksonville, since I’ve not really been before, and having this amazing opportunity to share some of my own thoughts on this wonderful lifestyle we live.


SC Locals: I’m Teaching At The Academy In April!

The Academy Dungeon

So thrilled to have been invited by ChristianV to teach at The Academy in Georgetown, SC on April 6th!

And not only do I get to present at an amazing venue to a new group of people (one of my FAVORITE things), I also get to present one of the classes near and dear to my heart:

The Alpha Submissive—How to Yield Your Strength

You know you are submissive. And yet, you are a strong, take-charge kind of guy or girl, which makes some dominants complain of topping-from-the bottom, or claim that you’re not submissive at all. How do you find your submission and yield, when the time is truly right?

I started teaching this class five years ago, after one thousand too many submissives told me that they were confused about their submission, because they had been told that if they {fill in the blank with any bullet point below}, they were not REALLY submissive.

  • Had healthy boundaries—hell, have ANY boundaries at all.
  • Set limits.
  • Wanted to get to know a dominant before submitting.
  • Had opinions and—heaven forbid—shared them.
  • Took charge in daily life—especially at work.
  • Preferred to take their time giving over power.
  • Discussed what they are looking for and what turns them on (versus focusing ONLY on the dominant partner).
  • Had standards
  • Held themselves and others accountable.
  • Looked “dominant” (what does that even mean?).

I admit, I wrote the first thumbnail for this class as a defense for masculine-identified submissives who were constantly being told that if they did not act “beta,” dress in women’s clothing, accept pegging, or grovel and lick any woman’s boots that they were not “true” submissives.


However, even as I was writing it, examples were coming to mind of submissives of all genders being told they weren’t “subby enough,” and worse, wondering if it were true, because the more people pushed them that way, the less they felt like opening up to ANYONE.

So, this class was created.

And I’m thrilled to be presenting it for ChristianV and everyone at The Academy.

The FetLife Event link:

The Academy Website:

I hope if you’re in the area, you’ll be able to join me. smiles

Naughty Noel, Gettysburg, PA

Naughty Noel Weekend 2018

At The Naughty Noel Weekend, you will be able to create memories, learn new skills, acquire new toys, laugh, play, and enjoy a kinktastic time. Due to this event’s small size and relaxed, friendly atmosphere, you will be able to connect with your friends from the Studio 58 community, mingle with established presenters and activity hosts, and make new friends too.

Our two-day event will offer:

See our Preliminary Event Schedule to get an overview of the event.

Registration & Hotel

Early registration opened on May at $109/person and increases to $120 (July 5 – Sept 30) or $130 (Oct 1 – Event). Hotel rooms for the event are less than $100 per night including all taxes. Registration & Housing are now open at

Stay in Touch & Receive Updates

Coastal Carolina Fetish Fair, Myrtle Beach, SC

Coastal Carolina Fetish Fair

I’m teaching at Coastal Carolina Fetish Fair again!

I Command You To Understand! Communication For Kinky Relationships

Thursday, 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM

No matter where you turn for advice in this world of kinky relationships and power exchange, “Communicate,” is the first thing you’ll hear. So, what is communication? How do we get better at it? In this special three-hour workshop event, we’ll talk about the pieces of communication and how they add up to make a successful kinky relationship.

Dating Kinky, The Class

Friday, 10:00 AM

In this class, we’ll cover some of the most important actions and attitudes for finding one or several lifestyle partners, from writing your profile and choosing the best photos to get your point across to making contact, common pitfalls, and some hilarious examples of ‘when personals go wrong!’

We’ll also discuss which online sites offer the best options for connecting with your kinky peeps.

This is an interactive class, so bring your pencil or pen and some paper to write down those tips from the creator of and the author of Dating Kinky, The Book

Behavior Modification

Friday, 11:15 AM

What is behavior modification? It’s how behavior is changed through interaction. In D/s circles, we may call it training, but even in vanilla situations, behavior modification happens whether you want it to or not. So, since it’s going to happen anyway, why not do it right? This class is all about the basics of behavior modification and how to make it work for you in your relationships,
and how to use it as the basis for more in-depth D/s training.

Protocol 101

Saturday, 11:15 AM

What is protocol and why do you need it? Not all protocol is bowing and kneeling and “yes, Sir,” and so on. Protocol can be every day traditions and rituals built over time. In this class, we’ll explore the many types of protocol, and how to choose the protocols you want most in your life and your relationships.



Go to Event Registration that’s and enter your pass word which is CCFF2018, click the arrow that appears beside the password. Next click on Ticket. When the window opens select Tier 1 Ticket ( There is no Promotional Code) and be sure to add 1 to the box that asks for number.
Before you pay, be sure to check the size if you are ordering a T shirt.

We Look Forward To Seeing YOU at the Fair.

CCFF 2018 will be even bigger and better this year!

CCFF 2018 will be expanding to four, yes four days! We will be open on Thursday November 15th through Sunday November 18th. That’s two extra days of shopping, classes and fun!

On November 15th we will begin registration around 10am (subject to change), so when you arrive come on in and get registered!!

Thursday opening will be early afternoon, we will have classes that day. The vendor hall will also be open from about 3-5pm for those of you who like to get a jump on purchasing that special something.

In the evening we have a chance for you to meet and get to know some of your fellow kinksters and vendors at our mixer.

There will also be a fashion show planned that evening for your enjoyment. We encourage you to attend, and for the exhibitionists in the group we encourage you to costume up and strut your stuff down our catwalk. Categories include Leather, Latex, Lingerie, and Freestyle. Men and women are encouraged to strut! Prizes will be given to the winners.

Stay tuned for more exciting news about the Thursday night meet and greet activities.

We will also be expanding our dungeon space! This year there will be two dungeons open on Friday and Saturday nights. MORE space and an additional night will be added this year.

Aug 1st to Oct 31st = $99.00 limit 200 tickets
At the door: $125.00

Kinky Kollege, Chicago, IL

Kinky Kollege

I’m teaching at Kinky Kollege!

STDs & STIs—What Do You HAVE to Know to Make Informed Decisions?

There is a lot of mis- and dis-information still around about sexually transmitted diseases and infections that could make a HUGE difference in what you consent to, how your consent, and how you choose to play.

FemDom: Finding Your Feminine Leadership Style

There is a lot online and in print about domination, mostly male-oriented, because, let’s face it, there are more of them than us. There is still a lot about femdom out there, too, though. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of that is actually written by men, too, being over-sexualized and fantastical. This class is about the real deal. How to find YOUR perfect balance of hot, sexy, tough, firm, loving, sweet, and whatever else you want to throw in the pot. Based on my series of Women in Charge books (available directly, posting on Amazon Soon).

Cuckolding for Couples

Cuckolding is a hot trend online these days, but is it a viable kink? I’ll give an enthusiastic YES! Not only is it a fun fetish for cuck and cuckoldress, but it actually enhances intimacy, love, creativity and fun in your relationship. Based on my popular 2 1/2-month online course, this class covers setting ground rules, finding a bull, creating an amazing cuckolding relationship and troubleshooting.


This event will take place at a beautiful hotel & convention center just 10 minutes from O’Hare International Airport and a short ride from Downtown Chicago.

The Nation’s top Alternative Lifestyle Educators will be at Kinky Kollege offering classes on everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask.

The curriculum promises to be orgasmic. Earn credits toward your Masters (or Master’s) degree with accredited classes designed for students at every level of experience, ranging from beginners to the extreme edge player.

There will be many classes, spanning all three days of the event, providing for an intense educational opportunity. Some classes will have hands on lab time and opportunity for professional coaching.

Cuckolding for Couples, Black Rose, Washington, DC

Black Rose

I’m teaching a Saturday Night class on Cuckolding!

Cuckolding for Couples

Cuckolding is a hot trend online these days, but is it a viable kink? I’ll give an enthusiastic YES!

Not only is it a fun fetish for cuck and cuckoldress, but it actually enhances intimacy, love, creativity and fun in your relationship.

Cuckolding Party

Based on my popular 2 1/2 month online course, this class covers setting ground rules, finding a bull, creating an amazing cuckolding relationship and trouble shooting.

Polyamory for Black Rose, Washington, DC

Black Rose

I’m teaching another Tuesday night educational for Black Rose!

Poly-Wha? Ethical Non-Monogamy For Everyone

Polyamorous, open, swing, poly-fidelous, monogamish… so many ways to say that you enjoy ethical nono-monogamy, or more than traditional one-on-one coupling.

But what does it all mean, and how does it all work?

Poly Relationships

In this class, we’ll discuss labels, relationship patterns, communication, communication, and communication.

It’s all about finding what works for you and your partners, once you step out of the relationship box and into ethical non-monogamy.