Call Me Ishmael—I Mean Nookie—Please

Call Me Ishmael, I Mean Nookie

Whatever you call me will, in part, determine how I react to you.

This is important to me. I have a macro on my computer that I trigger every time someone writes to me and calls me “goddess,” “mistress,” “domina,” or the like.

I don’t like any of those, and certainly not from the mouths of strangers.

It goes like this:

Please don’t call me ____. I don’t own you, so I prefer not to be titled by you. Please call me Nookie, or Miss Nookie if you must use an honorific.
Thank you.

You can imagine how many people get confused by this or take offense.

Not my problem. Address me how I prefer to be addressed or I won’t respond.

Simple.

I had this conversation with a friend of mine on here, where he was asking about the opposite situation, where he might call me by my username (or rather, someone else), and they required him to use some sort of honorific, and how did I feel about that?

I responded that I think I have a right to say what I prefer to be called, and you have a right to decide whether you will call me that.

If someone wants you to call them Goddess, and you don’t want to, well, then, you have a right to ask for alternatives or remove yourself from their company.

You have a right to call me something I do not like and I have a right to leave your presence, not respond, or respond in a negative manner.

It’s obvious, right?

Which is why I suggest that when approaching people, it’s safest to start with their username, or whatever is written on their nametag, then, as soon as possible, ask, “And what would you like me to call you?”

And if they say, “Call me Ishmael,” then that’s the right thing to do.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Don't believe everything you think.

A friend posted this on Facebook the other day:

I'm judgmental.

I’ve posted before that as humans (or cats, LOL!) not judging is impossible. Especially people and cultures and things we are not familiar with.

And frankly, even as a human who self-describes as an “experience whore,” there are SOOOOOOOO many things I’m not familiar with.

SOOOOOOOO many.

Which is why, every once in a while, I want to remind everyone: don’t believe what you think.

Don’t take it as gospel.

Examine your own thoughts with as much rigor and logic and open-mindedness as you might examine mine. Or “fake news.”

Don’t let the first thing you think be the only thing you think about anything.

It MAY end up being the last thing you think, sure.

But if it’s the ONLY thing you think, you may just miss out on amazing people and experiences and foods and kinks and stuff in your like.

 

The First Sunday In August Is Friendship Day

1st Sunday in August is friendship Day Much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the enjoyment of similarties. ~James Hendricks

Is your kinky partner your bestie? Or is your BFF your ride-or-die event companion?

Either way, take some time to let your kinky tribe know how much you appreciate them today. *smiles*

Writing Prompt: Avoid False Friendship At All Costs

Avoid False Friends

“Avoid false friendship at all costs.”

I agree.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

Stop and think about that for a few moments.

The people we surround ourselves with help us sort right from wrong, ethical from unethical, and desirable from undesirable.

So, surrounding ourselves with people who don’t like us (but pretend to) is also exposing ourselves to people who are duplicitous as a matter of course.

We are also exposing ourselves to a normal that may include other thought patterns beyond base deception.

So, yeah, avoid false friends.

But let’s take it a step beyond.

Continue reading “Writing Prompt: Avoid False Friendship At All Costs”

“I Only Add People I Know.”

Add to Friends button with Weird Al profile.

When I first joined FetLife, I only friended people that I knew. After a short period, that became people I have met in person. It felt more comfortable that way. More managed.

It felt good, and it’s a valid position to take.

I’ve changed to pretty much the opposite now over the past few years. I’m a friend whore (slut?—it’s not like anyone pays). I don’t have to really be connected at all to be open to FetLife friendship.

Someone said “I don’t think anyone with 5,000 friends here on FetLife can meaningfully connect and must be promoting something,” and I agree. That’s true.

I AM promoting myself and my projects. For sure.

Continue reading ““I Only Add People I Know.””