My Top 6 Defenses Of The Chastity Cage

I’m not into chastity. Not my thing. I’m not a fan of chastity cages, either, for many reasons.

However, I do like to intellectually examine other viewpoints, and when someone asked me why an able bodied man would want to be placed in chastity and denied pleasure, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to think it through.

Using my own experience, the words of my Pet, and also having worked on several projects related to chastity over the years, here is the list I came up with:

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You Need To Have Power Before You Can Offer It To Me

What we do in kink is often called a power exchange.

And like most exchanges, you have to actually own what you’re offering regardless of which side of the slash you are on.

In my case, when you offer me your power, you have to show me that you own and fully understand the extent of the power you have and the value of what you are sharing with me.

I want you—nay, I need you—to KNOW all of your power, and still offer it to me. The more powerful you are, the more powerful your offer is.

Make no mistake: you ARE powerful.

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Pssst! You’re Leaking Power.

Pssst! You're Leaking Power.

Right here. *points*

You might want to get that looked at.

Where?

Right here. You see this right here? *points to the issue*

That’s it. That’s where your leak is. Can’t you feel it? It looks like it hurts.

No. No. There’s no leak there.

There really is. I can see it, and so can everyone else. They are walking way around it to avoid the fallout.

Are you SURE you don’t feel that? *looks unconvinced*

Nothing is leaking. I don’t feel a thing.

starts looking a bit concerned

Yes. I’m sure. Let’s get this patched up for you.

First, we have to figure out what this is all about.

What, exactly are you trying to say here in this sentence? *points to the comment on the screen*

Well, that I don’t like that thing.

I see. That’s totally valid. That’s not the issue, then.

We’ll have to look deeper. What about that thing don’t you like?

It’s unfair.

Oh. Now we’re getting somewhere. Unfair. Got it. What’s unfair about this thing?

Well, I can’t have it. And I want it. And other people seem to get it. And I can’t see why. And I deserve it.

Ahhh. I see the issue, now.

I like to use the analogy of leaking to poke fun at dominance and power and how easily they seem to be damaged by everyday things.

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Relationship Protocol As A PB&J Sammich

Relationship Protocol As A PB&J Sammich

I’ve been pretty clear about my position on relationship or D/s protocol, and while I go out of my way to be considerate of others’ preferences, I don’t believe I am entitled (or you are) to ANYONE following personal protocol (or any other kinds of preferences).

For me, it’s simple.

Never put responsibility for your relationship protocols on others.

That is up to those of you in the relationship to maintain.

For example, if you have a relationship policy that you BOTH approve a playmate for your partner, and someone asks your partner to play, it is up to your partner to tell the asker that they will need to also contact you if they want to play with your partner.

Not up to them to know this.

And it’s not a requirement for them to then contact you. They get to make the choice whether they follow-through or not, and whether they want to participate in your relationship protocols.

Even if they want to play.Even if they want to play.

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Communication At The Rope Room, Mebane, NC

The Rope Room

Soooo, I’ve been meaning to write about The Rope Room for a while, and today I have a GREAT excuse.

I’m teaching my second class there on Friday, March 29, 8-10pm.

I Command You To Understand! Communication In Power Exchange Relationships

This is one of my favorite classes, and a core class for kink, in my view.

I’m a HUGE fan of communication of all kinds, and I’ve been studying for years different techniques, and sharing them with others. This class is presented from the perspective of D/s, power exchange, and poly, while still applying to all relationships, kink and vanilla.

So, I’m excited to offer that class locally again. It’s been a few years.

You can RSVP on Fetlife here: https://fetlife.com/events/766658

More, I’m excited to present at The Rope Room, because it’s a great new space in the area, and deserves our local love.

The Rope Room has been used primarily for rope events, as you might guess, and it has so much to offer for that.

Even more, as a gathering space for discussions and classes, it’s also quite suited, and my first class out there on FemDom topics was comfortable, well-organized, and an all-around great experience.

The Rope Room is not a play space, as they are not insured for such things, but for rope, classes, gatherings and more, I think we’re quite lucky to have them.

I hope if your in the local area that you will join me for an evening of communication, socializing, and some edutainment!

*smiles*

Communication: Conflict Resolution Protocol

Communication: Conflict Resolution Protocol

I’ve been quiet lately. My last writing just over a month ago.

My Fall has been a series of loops and WTFs I didn’t see coming, traveling to teach, flakes, and stress up the wazoo. I’m WAY behind on everything.

I’ve TRIED to keep up with my messages as I can. I have over 91 I’ve not yet read.

BUT… there were I few I worked very hard to stay on top of, and that is those from people who were in my classes over the last few months, because I said they could follow up with me with questions.

Today’s writing is inspired by one of those questions.

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