I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Called An Asshole For Responding.

Silence, woman!

This is the last of this particular series… although not the last of my daily writings.

The first two are here:

#1 I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Compared To An Alcoholic Or Druggie
#2 I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Derided For Posting My Dress Size

This one is short and sweet, since I’ve had a jam-packed weekend, and there’s really not much to it… except and example showing why many women don’t reply to responses to their Craigslist ads (or personal dating site ads, or FetLife random messages) when they are not interested, and even more, why women don’t say why (which I get asked 4 out of 5 times when I simply reply with, “No, thanks.”

In my ad, this is the last line:

If you think you fit this bill, reach out. Send me a note. Tell me what interested you about my ad, and include a face photo.

So, I get this reply, with a face photo:

I would like to date you  I am in Raleigh

Aside from the grammar, the lack of immediate attraction to the photo, and the brevity in response to a very detailed post, there is no ‘what interested him.’

And frankly, to me, it read as incredibly entitled. I want to date you. I’m in Raleigh. Great! Ignore all of the other criteria I listed, because you being in Raleigh is all I really need to know… Oh, and that you would actually date me, unlike EVERYONE else in the area, right?

My reply was (and I sent this to quite a few men:

Thank you for the offer.

I’m looking for someone who can follow my directions and enjoy it.

Best of luck to you in fulfilling your fantasies!

Two others wrote back, a bit disappointed and trying to change my mind or figure out what they forgot (out of only two things? really?). This guy stepped it up a notch.

next time just dont answer and keep ass hole remarks to youself. If you were special as you think you are you would not be posting on CL

So, I’m an asshole for turning him down, and giving him a reason.

And, on top of that, he has to tell me that I’m not special, because I’m posting an ad on a site he trolls for ads… and um, that he responded to…

Oh! The irony!

Dominance Is Stronger Than You Think…

A man bowing his head to a pair of patent heels behind cage bars.

I’m in Paris today. It’s raining. I’m loathe to leave my tiny space, but I will, and soon, if for no reason than because exploring is something I do.

I had a few moments to write, and in my calendar I found a conversation I had nearly a year ago.

The same conversation that promoted Real Dominants Don’t… He Said To Me, a piece that was a collection of ideas I’ve experienced in the many years I’ve been online, all tossed at me by those who were searching for their “real dominant.”

In reading the discussion, though, there was more to it than just those pieces. A conversation about dominance.

I’ll share that with you today, and I hope you’ll share with me your own thoughts on dominance and submission and how you see these ideas fitting in with your own life. Continue reading “Dominance Is Stronger Than You Think…”

A Conversation With A Judgy Man…

A very concerned-looking man in a judge's robe with a gavel in the foreground. Overlaid with the words "Judgy Man Is Judgy."
  • AJudgyMan† joined the group FetLife Announcements. about 1 year ago

† Name changed to protect whatever. You’ll see.

  • AJudgyMan changed his location to Raleigh, North Carolina, United States. 8 months ago
  • AJudgyMan changed his gender to male. 8 months ago
  • AJudgyMan changed his role to Sensualist. 8 months ago
  • AJudgyMan changed his sexual orientation to homoflexible. 8 months ago
  • AJudgyMan updated the about section on his profile. 8 months ago

“Just looking to see whats out there and who I vibe with.
Anonymity is imperative”

  • AJudgyMan changed his sexual orientation to heteroflexible. 7 months ago

THEN, he contacted me.

With no photo, no friends, no… well, you’ll see.

It was pretty banal for a few exchanges. Nothing to write home about, then, he asked:

“So, do you think 2 self proclaimed Dominants can get along?”

I replied:

I have a lot of dominant friends.

I have no desire to make everything into combat.

“Good cause neither do I, actually. theres fun teasing and play and theres some girls that hold a penis envy gotta prove something.

In the end, Im just looking for cool people, that know how to draw the line between the facade of all this kinky play. I have no need to want to control a woman out of the bedroom – but I do love dominant play in the bedroom, and sometimes out. But theres something definitely wrong with a person that wants to be controlled by another person out of the kinky play. So, I have nothing to say to a slave. theyre no fun – I need alittle resistence to keep things playful.”

I replied:

I’m sorry. You just said something that I find incredibly judgmental. Perhaps you could clarify:

“But theres something definitely wrong with a person that wants to be controlled by another person out of the kinky play.”

“The line gets crossed, for me, when you have someone that either wants to have their life, not just their kinky fun, completely controlled by another or they have some deep seeded need to control another’s life. 24/7 Doms, Slaves are something I understand but do not respect.

In the bedroom, thats fun, but thats where you separate the illusion of power this lifestyle allows and step into a twisted unhealthy psychological need that stems from some mental issues.

I dare you to try to argue that”

I replied:

I have no desire to argue it.

I am dominant inside the bedroom and out. My Pet and others look to me for more than sexual role play, and I enjoy that role.

I wish you the best of luck in everything you do.

“Funny cause a true dominant doesnt walk away like that – but anyone on here can play one.

Enjoy your writing

And if I offended you by the last “judgemental” remarks – youre probably exactly like the mentally ill people that take this lifestyle way too seriously, because they need to – in which case I feel sorry for you.”

Enjoy that feeling of superiority, oh creepy one. I’m too busy enjoying my amazing life to give a flying fuck.

smiles

Continue reading “A Conversation With A Judgy Man…”

how many ppl u sexd?

Sexting

Really? THAT’s what you want to know? That’s your burning question? The one that comes before an introduction, some small talk?

UGH.

And while that is heinous, the question in general is kind of gross, no matter what, in my view.

After all, why da fuck you care?

What possible bearing could that have on my relationship with you?

Let’s explore:

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with change how I look?

If so, you can judge how I look without knowing.

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with determine how capable I am of loving?

If so, you can determine whether I love you enough through my words and actions, rather than through my sexual history.

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with have anything to do with my skills in bed?

Well, then, when we get to that point, try me out, and we’ll see if we are compatible there.

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with suggest to you how I might feel “down there?”

If so, you can find that out when/if you are allowed to feel that.

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with give you an idea of how loyal I will be?

If so, find out by actually experiencing my loyalty.

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with give you and idea of your competition?

Sex is not a competition. Can’t you understand that if I’m with you, it’s because I want to be?

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with tell you whether I am a good person or not?

Can’t you decide that for yourself through other factors?

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with give you an idea of my STD/STI status?

You can find that out through asking me for my test results—even my test results history.

Does the number of people I’ve had sex with tell you whether you are likely to get sex with me?

No. It doesn’t.

And besides, it’s none of your gawddamned business.

Image: Mike Licht, CC2.0

You. Must. Talk Dirty. To. Me. (Or, provide a valid reason, open to proof and defense from all sides, on the proper forms, in triplicate.)

Talk Dirty To Me

I tend to be direct.

Very direct.

I mean what I say, when I say it.

Sure, sometimes I’m wrong, or I change my mind, but generally, you can take my words, especially about myself, at face value.

You can also believe that I took care in saying exactly what I meant.

And when I say that I don’t want to speak sexually with a total stranger on the internet, that seems, to me, like it should be clear.

Apparently, it’s not. Case in point (bold is mine):

Duuuuude (second message):

Would You be interested in chatting? 🙂

Me

If by chatting, you mean talking sexually, no. If you mean having meaningful conversation about topics of mutual interest, maybe. Continue reading “You. Must. Talk Dirty. To. Me. (Or, provide a valid reason, open to proof and defense from all sides, on the proper forms, in triplicate.)”

Real Dominants Don’t… He Said To Me

Image of a happily maybe orgasmic woman with the words: "When you get a taste of a real dominant, the rest of the world never really tastes the same. And: "Do 'real' dominants taste different from other humans? Huh. *licks self* I can't tell."

“Real dominants don’t ask the opinions of others.”

“Real dominants don’t allow questions from their submissive.”

“Real dominants don’t accept limits or requirements from anyone.”

“Real dominants don’t have sex with their submissives, or other dominants, or love anyone, ever.”

“Real dominants don’t do anything but what they want to do.”

“Real dominants just KNOW.”

“Once a submissive can place requirements on a dominant, can ask questions, or change their mind, the submissive is in charge, and the dominant is not a real dominant.”

I checked the profile again. Yup, submissive.

Irony, meet submissive. Submissive, meet irony. I think you two have a lot to talk about.

I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Derided For Posting My Dress Size

“Fantasies are never fulfilled, because they and reality can never exist in the same space.”

This is the second in a three-part series, based on a recent Craigslist ad. The first is here:

I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Compared To An Alcoholic Or Druggie

This particular reply is related this this part of my ad:

I’m moderately attractive. Some think I’m beautiful. I’m curvy, a US size 8-10.

Continue reading “I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Derided For Posting My Dress Size”

I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Compared To An Alcoholic Or Druggie

Slut Shaming

So, now and again, I post ads on CL. For dates, to meet new people, bulls, heck, I even buy and sell things sometimes.

I recently posted an ad. I described myself:

I am super-smart and interested in your mind as much as your body. I’m good at sex and sensuality and believe there is more to a successful encounter than a grab for the genitals.

I am polyamorous. I am also very selective.

I am bi-sexual, feminine, and driven. I prefer my sex with a side of connection, and a hint (sometimes more) of kink.

I’m moderately attractive. Some think I’m beautiful. I’m curvy, a US size 8-10.

I am a woman who likes to take charge. What does this mean to you? It means you can be yourself. Strong, capable, loving, aggressive, successful… and you can be mine. 100% devoted and rewarded for it with deep intimacy, powerful love, and amazing sex.

I got 137 replies before I turned the ad off. Yeah… pretty much par for the course, if it doesn’t get flagged by people I’ve rejected. LOL! Continue reading “I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Compared To An Alcoholic Or Druggie”

Forced Bitchyness – Or Total Bitchification™ and Control with TwooMastery™ – Part 5

The words: Forced Bitchyness - Or Total Bitchification™ and Control with TwooMastery™

In which I fail to see the value in a stranger’s orgasmayzingness.

I have been a Dom for 20 years and do like to switch.
Hi,
have you experienced true multiple orgasms, so many you lose count, start squirting and can actually pass out from them, if you want? This is like 75 orgasms in 30 minutes. I can give you these 3 different ways. Most guys or lesbians even, do not realize, this level of ecstacy exists for their lover. Some women have them naturally but very few, the rest can be taught. The easiest way for me anymore, is orally. There are certain spots I hit with my fingers and tongue, that will drive you bonkers. There is also a massage they use in the orient to teach a woman true multiples, that I have added a lot to, if the oral doesn’t work and actually I have made women pass out on the phone.

Continue reading “Forced Bitchyness – Or Total Bitchification™ and Control with TwooMastery™ – Part 5”

Forced Bitchyness – Or Total Bitchification™ and Control with TwooMastery™ – Part I

The words: Forced Bitchyness - Or Total Bitchification™ and Control with TwooMastery™

I can’t help it, Master. Your powerful words make me a total bitch for you to use for your self-humiliation pleasure.

I don’t want to do it. I’ve dreaded this deep desire in me for my whole life, but for you, because you are powerful and you show me the meaning of TwooMastery™, I will bow before you and release the inner bitch just dying to be set free into the world.

Only for you would I ever.

No, of course not, I would never, ever on my own! That is so filthy for you to suggest. It’s just when you approach me with your Masterly words, I feel my insides start to tremble with need. Continue reading “Forced Bitchyness – Or Total Bitchification™ and Control with TwooMastery™ – Part I”