The Exercises

Bah! This sex stuff is supposed to be fun, and now I’m giving you exercises!

WTF?!?

Well, you don’t have to do these—everything here is consensual. You may want to, though.

Just hear me out.

You see, sex is a physical act, and it’s so easy to wear ourselves out performing, and miss out on the fun we could be having, if we weren’t worried about our legs giving out, running out of breath, or our asses burning (the glutes, not the butthole!) from thrusting.

That said, everything here is optional, and should be done at an easy level before progressing, especially if you’ve not done these exercises much or if you’re out of practice.

The bonus is, not only will these exercises help you with fucking, but also with being fucked and can increase blood flow and strengthen your orgasm potential, sooo…

Yeah.

And here they are:

Squats

Squats get your full body involved, while focusing on your quads, hamstrings and glutes (all important for fucking!). They increase lower body strength and improve your balance.

How To

Stand with feet a little wider than hip width, toes facing front. Drive your hips back—bending at the knees and ankles and keeping your knees facing forward. Sit into a squat position while still keeping your heels and toes on the ground, chest up and shoulders back, core tight. Strive to dip your hips below 90-degrees (start where you are, then go deeper when you can), then press into your heels to return to standing upright position.

Tips:

• Keep your feet and knees pointed straight forward. Don’t allow your feet to turn in our out, and don’t allow your knees to collapse inward.
• Tighten your core (ab work! bonus!) by pulling your belly button into your spine and keep your chest high throughout the entire squat. Don’t round your back.
• Lean back further than you think you need to, so that your weight is on your heels, not the balls of your feet. It’s OK if you need to lightly hold on to something to help you balance as you learn the form. But don’t let your heels OR toes come up during the movement, and if you do hold onto something, don’t use your arms take your weight in the movement.
• Go low. Try to get your hips to go below parallel to the floor. This will activate all the muscles you are trying to work.

Variation:

Split squats or squats with weights will up the difficulty.

Push-Ups (or Flat Bench Presses)

There are few exercises as good at building upper body strength and endurance (great for holding yourself up during fucking!) as push-ups, and all you need to do them is your body.

Of course, if you have access to a bench and weights, you could do bench presses as well, to increase the weight. However, you won’t get the added core benefits of the push-ups. Better to do a combination, if you choose to add in weights.

Targeting the chest, shoulders, and triceps, this is a good exercise for any positions where you’re on top, and may need to lean to put weight on your arms (missionary, cowgirl/cowboy).

How-To

Position your hands shoulder-width apart. As you bend your elbows and lower toward the ground, your elbows should be at about a 45-degree angle. Your fingers should be splayed, with your middle fingers pointing toward 12 o’clock. Lower all the way until your chest touches, then push back up to nearly-straight arms (never lock your joints out while exercising).

Tips:

• Keep your elbows in close. Not tight to your body, but in a natural position, usually about a 45-degree angle. Don’t let your elbows flare out wide, this could cause harm and pulled muscles.
• Place your hands shoulder width apart. This is perfect for a standard push-up. Go too wide, and you’ll be placing weight awkwardly on your arms, risking injury.
• Do a full rep—actually touch your chest to the floor. Don’t hover 6” above the floor, then push back up. You’re not getting the full effect.
• Tight gut, tight butt! Maintain a straight line and a tight core. Don’t let your hips sag down so they reach the floor before your chest.
• Also, keep your neck straight. Don’t let your head fall forward. Your chest should reach the ground before your face does. That can put strain on your neck and cause pain.
• Start where you are. If you can’t do full push-ups with proper form, do knee or wall push-ups to build your strength until you can.

Ab Roller!

Ah. These suck. I’ll be very clear. SUCK!

They hurt like a motherfucker, and they work that core. And they are SOOOOO good for you.

But they suck.

Bad.

The Ab Roller as a product arose from an exercise done with barbells or dumbbells. You can do it with either. The barbells add extra weight to the recall and tear up your floors (do them in the gym, or with a protective mat, obviously).

These work on your abdominals, your obliques—well, pretty much your entire core. They’ll increase your upper body flexibility and you’ll also be able to maneuver and reach the good spots while on yourself or your partner more easily.

How-To

Kneel on the ground with the roller in front of you. Lean forwards slightly so the roller is directly underneath your shoulders, then grab the handles. Engage your core, then push the roller forwards as far as you can without breaking form – you don’t want your upper body to buckle and sag (like with your push-ups, keep the core tight). Then roll back to the starting position. Brace your abs throughout and keep your back straight. The movement should be slow and controlled at all times.

The form is much the same with a barbell or dumbbells, except you position your hands wider – about shoulder-width apart.

Tips:

• Take a deep breath in when you start each, and tighten your core, like you’re about to take a punch. Don’t let your body sag.
• Pull your shoulders down and back. Don’t let them hunch forward.
• Start with the wheel directly under your shoulders and bring it back to that position. This will help keep your form, and give your body stability at the beginning and end of each movement.
• Do a full range of movement. Most people will never go to their full range, because as I said before, these SUCK. They hurt. They humble. So bad. But, if you want to see what full range of movement looks like (maybe one day when your hubris is high, and you’ve had a some time to practice these), start fully laid out on the floor, and pull up then roll back out as your movement. I dare you! grins

Hip Thrusts (or Glute Bridges)

I’m pretty sure you knew this was coming, right? I mean, it’s pretty obvious.

Hip.

Thrust.

Ohhhh yeahhhh.

The hip thrust most closely mimics the actions performed during sex…unless you prefer bottom, you lazy fuck.

Kidding! I’m a total bottom whore most of the time. Which is why I need to do as many of these bad ass moves as possible.

They are good for your core and your hip flexors, and of course, those glutes and the hamstrings (the two main muscles involved in thrusting).

Not only will these exercises help you develop more powerful thrusts, but they’ll help you develop more control, stamina, and rhythm, so you’re not flopping around like cooked spaghetti.

Unless that’s your thing. If so, don’t let me yuck your yum.

smiles

Oh, and it makes your bum-bum rounder and higher and tighter, if you’re looking for aesthetics in these exercises as well.

How To

Start with your shoulder blades against a bench (or a chair against a wall, or a couch—anything that will support them without moving), and your arms spread across it for stability. Bend your knees to about 90 degrees, and make sure your feet are flat on the floor. Your butt may be on the floor, or slightly off, depending on the height of your bench. Take a big breath in, blow your air out fully, and brace your core. Squeeze your glutes, lift up your hips, and hold a second or two, then return to starting position.

You may also do this as a hip bridge, with your shoulders on the ground on a mat, lifting your hips up and tightening at the top, then lowering.

Tips:

• Bring your body into a straight/taught position. Don’t hyperextend your lower back at the top.
• Push through your heels. Don’t raise up onto your toes to get height.
• Make sure your shins are vertical—that your feet are not too close or too far from your buttocks. Adjust at the top of the movement. This maximizes glute activation.
• Keep your knees pointed straight forward. Don’t let them splay out or cave in.
• “Cup” your pelvis. As your hips extend and start to reach the top of the movement, think of bringing your pubic bone closer to your ribcage via gluteal contraction, like an extra thrust at the end of your thrust forward. This is not just good for your smooooth moves, but helps prevent lumbar hyperextension.
• Once you have practiced and you feel confident with your balance, move your arms from outstretched to balling up fists, and digging the backs of your arms into the bench. This will help tense and tighten your whole body for greater benefit.
• Once you have practiced and you feel confident with your balance, you may add dumbbells or barbells to your hips, holding them in place as you move.

Kettlebell Swings

These knights of everything strong and fit focus on your glutes and hammies, but they also bring in the upper body team, with your back and arms.

Mostly, thought, this is about speed and power in your hips, making you a thrusting machine!

How To

Stand tall, gripping the bell with both hand, holding it with nearly straight arms between your legs. Keep your arms long and loose, squeeze your shoulder blades together, and engage your core.

Lower down, as if in a squat, letting the kettlebell weight drop. Keep your weight in your heels and full foot, then driving through your heels, explode from your hips to send the weight upwards in a full swing from your quads. Aim for chest height, arms extended.

Snap your hips forward, contract your core, and squeeze your glutes.

As the kettlebell weight brings your arms back down, let gravity do the work as you prepare your body for the next rep. Shift weight back into heels while hinging at the hips and loading both the hamstrings and glutes. Receive the weight, allowing the kettlebell to ride back between legs. As it makes the transition from backward to forward, drive through the heels and hips to repeat.

Tips:

• Use your hips for momentum, not your knees. Always drive and explode from the legs and hips, rather than bending the knees to drop into a squat.
• Keep your body high. Don’t aim to hit the floor with your lower swing. High at the hips, and don’t bend your body. The weight should swing between your thighs, no lower.
• Pick a reasonable weight. Start small. Make sure you have good form before increasing. Don’t slack on form—the swing engages a lot more muscles than most exercises, which means more potential for injury.

Body Saw Planks

Ugh! These monsters are deceptively simple.

And definitely painful.

However, they are AWESOME for your core, and they active many of the muscles you’ll use in missionary and similar positions.

Of course, a strong core is critical during sex for stamina and performance. You’ll be able to hold positions longer and not get tired as quickly.

It’s like standing on the edge of a stair, lifting and lowering your heels—only in plank position.

And it’s awful…

…ly good for you! (See how I made that positive? LOL!)

How To

Find a place where you can slide your feet. Start in plank position with your back flat and elbows under your shoulders. Squeeze your glutes, hamstrings, and quads. You should be able to feel them tighten and start to burn a bit. Inhale and use your elbows to push your body back, like you’re turning the shape of your body from a rectangle to a parallelogram. Exhale and return to your starting position, squeezing your abs the entire time.

Tips:

• Maintain your plank form. Don’t let your back arch or sag. This is a small (yet powerful!) movement.

Cardio

Of course!

Endurance matters in all things fucking, not just the marathon jackhammer sessions.

Sure, the weight and body weight exercises that I’ve just shared will be a huge boost in power, but if you can only last for 47 seconds of bliss, well…you know how that goes.

Start where you are—don’t try to do too much. A little bit of improvement at a time adds up.

I started with the None2Run program (https://www.nonetorun.com/), because I could do it anywhere (it’s just running), and because it started me off where I was, and I increased the running whenever I felt comfortable at the level I was at.

In any case, find something you enjoy (you’ll be more likely to stick to it).

BONUS: Kegals

Kegals strengthen your pelvic floor. And this is a good thing for lots of reasons and all genders.

Orgasm. Your orgasm strength will increase as your pelvic floor strength increases.

Ejaculation. Regardless of your gender, your squirting and ejaculation will get stronger with kegels.

Muscle relaxation. It may seem counter-intuitive, but learning how to control your muscles through tightening them ALSO helps you learn how to relax them (for better butt and vaginal play).

Stronger dicks. Kegals are great for ED (erectile dysfunction), PE (premature ejaculation), and even length and strength of bio-dicks. And for those using strapless, they are easier to keep in.

Less leakage. Kegals help prevent both urinary and fecal incontinence. YAY!

Kegals are good for all, and can be done anywhere—standing in a queue, stuck in traffic, while making dinner, even on the phone with the neighborhood gossip.

Identify The Right Muscles

To identify the proper muscles for your kegal exercises, stop urination in midstream (only do this to FIND your muscles—don’t make a habit of this) or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas.

Another way to help gauge your overall level of relaxation is by making it a habit to insert a soapy or lubricated finger into your anus while showering or bathing. You can practice squeezing and releasing your PC muscles at this point as well, and this provides immediate feedback about your level of relaxation.

How To

Tighten for one count, then release for one count. Repeat ten times.

Tighten and hold for a count of three, then release for a count of three. Repeat ten times.

Tighten and hold for a count of ten, then release for a count of three. Repeat three times.

Do three sets per day, ideally.

Tips:

• When you’ve practiced for a while, consider increasing your hold time.
• Focus only on your kegals, keeping the rest of your body relaxed. Your exercises should no be visible to others or to yourself looking in a mirror. Many incorrectly contract their buttocks or gluteal muscles, or inner thighs, and basically squeeze their thighs together when starting. This is ineffective and just wastes your time.
• Do kegals when you’re going about your day. Don’t start and stop the flow of urine when you go to the bathroom. It’s not good for you to do that often.
• Breathe freely. Don’t hold your breath.

More…

Watch for more information on kegals upcoming in my book “The Big ‘O’,” and the accompanying class (title TBD), and “The Good Dick Book,” and “The Strong Dick Class,” all coming later in 2020.

smiles

A Few Notes:

Reps: Start where you can, move up from there. This is not a competition. Don’t feel like you have to get through a certain number of exercises/sets or go for a certain amount of time. It’s about whatever you can and want to do to improve your lovemaking/fucking/sexytimes.

Keep a log, so you know how many reps you’ve been doing, and/or what weights, and you can note the dates that you increase.

Ask your trainer (or gym expert). If you have any questions, speak to an expert. It’s better to learn the correct form and get a bit of help than to injure yourself.