Poly Relationships: “Most of the poly relationships I know fail.”

Poly Relationships

So, I’m doing some professional-level procrastinating right now, and TheFerret popped up in my feed with this piece on poly relationships:

“Why Are You Poly People Always Yammering On About Polyamory?” (link to FetLife, requires sign-in)

I read it. And agreed, then went on to the comments, where I saw this:


What I hate is that every non kinky platform where I might mention the possibility that I’m not monogomous its always assumed disaster will occur.

Which got me thinking about something, so I popped over here to write a short piece quickly. Because, you know, I have work to do…

Anyway, my point is simple. I hear this a lot (or something like it):

“Most of the poly relationships I know fail.”

My response:

Most of the RELATIONSHIPS you know fail. I mean, really. How many of those monogamous relationships you and your friends have had have really lasted a lifetime?

Yeah. It’s called dating because not every relationship will last a lifetime.

And they are not all meant to.

Even marriages in the monogamous world don’t last forever. 53% of marriages end in divorce. (1) If you look at relationships in totality, the average number of years a relationship will last is 2.14/2.05 (male/female), though relationship length ranged from 1 to 108 months (9 years). (2)

So, there you have it. Numbers n’shit.

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography
(2) http://kinseyconfidential.org/womens-sexual-desire-declines-time-men/