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I need a break. And I’m taking one.

It’s Sunday. We’re finishing up My Power, Your Power today. Three amazing days of power exchange learning, discussion, coaching, dating, and more. I’m exhausted. Not just from this weekend, although that will be my excuse to take the next couple of days off, but from the past year and a

It takes time to change your mind…

One of my favorite sayings about behavior modification is that to modify someone else’s behavior, you first have to modify your own. Which is not totally true, because we actually modify and adjust our behaviors every day in response to others, and they are just being, living their lives. What

KinkIn15: Hard

The word of the week is “hard”. To participate, create a 15-word story with hard, harder, or hardest. I can’t wait to see your creativity! smiles So often,Fixing you with my hardest stare,After you sass me.But I laugh.

Are kinksters attention whores?

Maybe. I don’t mean that in a bad way. If you immediately got your hackles raised, take a deep breath, hear me out, then please, give me your thoughts. I wrote a piece in 2019 about attention and the work of John Gottman studying relationships and his idea of bids

Happy National Sex Educator Appreciation Day!

It’s 6/9. Get it?!? 😜 Yeah, I know. A bit corny. And yet, I think it’s really important to recognize that there are amazing people out here putting in their time and effort to fill in the gaps of our sexual knowledge left by years of public (or not-so-public education).

The subtle control of disapproval…

Most people HATE to disappoint. Good manipulators know this. And they will use it. Here are just a few samples of disapproval sent to me in various sites online by people who were “interested” in me, “just looking out” for me, or “offering a friendly word of advice,” all wrapped

ONE piece of kinky advice…

If you could give ONE piece of kinky advice to newbie kinksters, or even to your past self when taking your first step into kink, what would it be? Here’s mine: Prompt: Dear past self or kinky newbie, The ONE skillset I believe will make your kinky journey safer, sexier,

You don’t need a WHY.

People talk about knowing your why like it’s this deep mystical thing that people MUST HAVE. Like it’s a higher plane of existence or an achievement level unlocked. Bah. If you have your why, great! It’s a wonderful thing to know, and it can often give you the boost you

Love is our choice.

To be clear, I don’t mean that people can choose what gender they are attracted to. Most people (including much of science) says that is not so. I mean that we can choose to show love and compassion to everyone, however love or identify. Or we can be a bunch

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