Dating Kinky
Built by kinksters for kinksters, poly, queer, trans folk, and anyone not-quite-vanilla—and it’s FREE.

This writing is now available as a podcast episode!

A guest post by TheBalloonGuy.

Had a talk with myself today. Told myself “Self, we suck.”

Self replied “Yes? We are aware.”

“Maybe we should try to write something positive today.”

Had a conversation with someone recently. Not someone on Fet, nor in the lifestyle, a Vanilla. Their only real understanding of Kink, and BDSM, comes from popular culture. 50 Shades, portrayals in movies, long-standing stereotypes.

The usual.

“I just don’t understand how someone can be that mean and hit someone, it’s so violent.”

“Isn’t it just a wild sex party?”

“What do you people even do?”

This helped me to become a bit re-aware of the fact that the Vanilla world is still not given a fair perspective on what it’s like to participate in this lifestyle. When people hear “Kink” they typically think of the dank, smoky dungeons full of sweaty people having sex. They think all women who are dominant are always clad in black leather, all Doms are men who are sadistic control freaks, male submissives aren’t real, and the only kinks that exist are rope, blindfolds, bondage, and spanking.

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