I’ve been working on publishing productivity all day, And while I’m reformatting books from PDFs to Kindle, I re-read some of what I’ve written.
Damn. I’m good! LOL!
Anyway, I ran across something that I think is critically important, and I’ve seen people confusing the terms over and over.
Dominant/Submissive and Master/Slave
The main difference is between T/b and D/s, in my view, so that’s what I’ll focus on.
Someone who GIVES actions in scenes (or sex). This may mean spanking, whipping, flogging, pegging, etc.
Someone who TAKES actions in scenes. This may mean spanking, whipping, flogging, anal etc.
In the lifestyle, someone who GIVES mental leadership to another. This often includes direction in life choices, self-improvement, task and chores, etc.
Master is a very contested term, but is a dominant with more. Perhaps you might even say a dictator, or one who gives orders, rather than simply leading. However, many would say it’s not all that different from dominant (simply a difference in title), while others would say it differs to a great degree.
In the lifestyle, someone who TAKES mental leadership from another. This often includes direction in life choices, self-improvement, task and chores, etc.
Slave is also contested term, but is a submissive with less rights and self-direction. Many would say it’s not all that different from submissive (simply a difference in title), while others would say it differs to a great degree.
So, the part that I see people getting confused is between D/T and S/B.
For example, I am dominant. Mentally, I take control of my relationships. However, I enjoy both topping and bottoming. I love to be tied up in rope by people I connect with. I enjoy incredibly rough sex with my partners, and I like fire play.
So, I identify as a primarily dominant switch.
Then, there are people who are VERY toppy, maybe even sadistic, who have absolutely no interest in leading another’s life at all.
There are bottoms who love kinky sex and beatings, but have zero inclinations to follow another person mentally.
And then there is the competition.
For some reason, being a “dominant” in some circles holds more weight than simply being a top.
A dominant may be someone who is just a natural leader, while a top may be someone who has spent hundreds of hours perfecting their craft.
Frankly. I’d judge the person on who they are and what their skills and ethics are, rather than the title they self-identify with.
But hey, I have lots of ideas about how things would be if I ran the world…
So, what are you? And, no need to keep within these labels. I’m always curious about how people identify and why.