I have my opinions, of course. And I’ll share. I’m asking you.
Because it feels to me that we can go out in public spaces, be naked, do raunchy and frankly bizarre, even insane things to bodies and be applauded, BUT…sex is actually shied away from.
I’ve been to hundreds of kinky and lifestyle events.
Some with over a thousand people.
I’ve seen a zipper sewn live to pussy lips, so it could be open and closed. I’ve seen people hung from hooks. I’ve seen branding (and done them), cuttings, torture, and more.
And aside from at my own venue or private parties, the number of events at which I’ve seen actual sexual activity…I could count on two hands.
And the number of events that positively promote sexual activity as natural and welcome AND make people feel safe doing so—putting out condoms and lubes and wipes and puppy pads in the same way that they put out cleaning supplies and such for the kinky activities? Reduces the number to one hand.
And half of the time I’ve seen sex at public events—even when it was specifically welcomed—I’ve also heard people complaining that they should not have had to see that, or that it wasn’t really “kinky.”
WHAT?!? She was fucker her slave with a strap on, holding onto reins that were threaded through her nipples with hooks. Pretty damn kinky, if you ask me.
I’m not complaining. Not really.
I mean, people have a right to do with their kink what they want to do.
However, many people are whispering and talking and muttering and, well, complaining. Because kink is sort of promoted as sex-positive. And it’s really not.
Let me be clear: I’m not talking BDSM or specific subcultures. I’m talking the umbrella of kink, which includes fetishes (which are inherently sexual), sexual dynamics, and more.
But there is still in my experience a natural wall of “STOP HERE. Sex may not proceed.”
Even in spaces where “No pink bits” is not a rule.
(I wonder if it might be a subconscious attempt to avoid being cast as “swingers,” or parties being labeled “sex parties”?)
After all the sex positive vibes that are doled out.
Frankly, it is only mildly disappointing to me. I tend to be more private than most with my sex and kink, anyway. Although when I ran the Venue, I was always an enthusiastic cheerleader and voyeur in the sex positive area.
I miss that. I do.
And I know that SO MANY people are frustrated by it, and have a hard time bridging that gap.
So, I thought I’d ask you.
What are your thoughts?
Is kink REALLY sex-positive? If yes, what are your experiences that show that to you? And are you willing to share your community base?
If no, do you think it’s fine the way it is, or do you think it could be far more sex-proactive than it is?