Hi. I’m Nookie, and I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m also a kinky dominant.

I don’t personally see a conflict there, but some apparently do.

Some people think that I should live without love, and that I shouldn’t miss it, because I am a dominant.

I mean, they don’t say it exactly that way.

Instead they say things like:

• Dominants don’t love their submissives.
• Dominants should always be in control of everything.
• Dominants shouldn’t ever have sex with their submissives.
• Dominants should not respect their submissives.
• Dominants should be cold and authoritarian.

I should also note that it seems that these things only or at least primarily apply to dominant women, because the narrative for dominant men is very different.

It seems almost like people think if a dominant woman likes anything that is not hard and mean and tough, that she’s not dominant enough.

Fudge that all to H-E-Double-Ell!

You know what’s not “dominant enough” to me?

Changing who I am and the life I love to live to suit strangers on the internet.

I can be a dominant and squeal over puppies. I can enjoy fuzzy pajama pants with unicorns. I can love to get flowers, be courted, and go all gooey when my partner is sweet to me. And I can let him be himself, and enjoy the romance that flows from him. And I can giggle when I peg or hit people, because it’s fun.

Or I could be something entirely different.

That’s my point.

I’ll be me. You be you. We’ll either be a match or not. It’s OK.

No one gets to choose the course of my life, and I don’t want to choose yours.

And if you don’t like who I am, or think I’m DOIN IT RONG, by all means, show yourself out. I wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to stick around.

What are your thoughts?

What is ONE thing a kinky dominant CANNOT do, in your mind? What will make you immediately see that person as not-dominant if they do it?

Anything?