Dating Kinky
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Saturday evening in my Alpha Submissive Class for The Academy in Georgetown, SC, I brought up the Hierarchy of Needs as an illustrative point on the foundation of trust within a power exchange relationship.

I’ve received several follow-up messages about the idea from that class, which I began responding to this morning.

Looking at my writing calendar, I also found a link to this piece:

Needs vs Wants Hierarchy in a M/s relationship

That I’d added in to remind me to delve a bit deeper into the idea of what is a need and what is a want in a relationship.

What are needs?

To clarify, these are needs within a relationship, beyond the basic need to breathe, eat, have clean water, etc.

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I’ve been pretty clear about my position on relationship or D/s protocol, and while I go out of my way to be considerate of others’ preferences, I don’t believe I am entitled (or you are) to ANYONE following personal protocol (or any other kinds of preferences).

For me, it’s simple.

Never put responsibility for your relationship protocols on others.

That is up to those of you in the relationship to maintain.

For example, if you have a relationship policy that you BOTH approve a playmate for your partner, and someone asks your partner to play, it is up to your partner to tell the asker that they will need to also contact you if they want to play with your partner.

Not up to them to know this.

And it’s not a requirement for them to then contact you. They get to make the choice whether they follow-through or not, and whether they want to participate in your relationship protocols.

Even if they want to play.Even if they want to play.

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