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Oh FFS! Quit Yer Whining!

Oh FFS! Quit Yer Whining!

All women have to do is be on a [dating/sex] site, and men will send her messages. It's so much easier for women, they make all the choices." Oh, FFS! This is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard (over and over and over and over). Men and women, in general,...

Dating: Who Messages First?

Dating: Who Messages First?

On a FetLife group about dating on OKC, the question was asked: Who messages first? According to a new study done by the OKCupid team, they stated that more messages happen when she sends the first message. What are your thoughts on this study? What do you feel would...

Why Do You Give A Fuck What Label I Use?

I do not identify as "Domme" on Fet. I don't think it is a clear enough picture of who I am. I like so many different sub-classifications that I simply chose kinkster as my label. As such, I get a lot of questions, and quite a few propositions. And when I turn them...

Why Lying Is Submissive Behavior

Now, before you go all cray-cray on my ass, I am simply saying that lying is submissive behavior (versus dominant behavior), not that submissives lie. Or, put another way: In my view, you cannot be a Dominant and a liar. Why? Because when you lie, you are telling the...

Why Not Judging Is Impossible (And What To Do About It)

Why Not Judging Is Impossible (And What To Do About It)

Yesterday, I wrote about penis size and why I don't believe it's a factor of dominance. Jedi_K responded with this comment. Everyone is different but people are too quick to judge, label and put in boxes. On the surface, this is true. It's something we say all the...

What Does It Take To Be A Dominant?

What Does It Take To Be A Dominant?

Does being a dominant have a certain set of physical standards to measure up to, for example? On tumblr, someone posted this: I wish my ex-husband Scott could have been this guy for me… but the reality is, you can’t be a Dom with a four inch penis. Just. Not....

Your Consent Doesn’t Matter As Much As My Consent

Your Consent Doesn’t Matter As Much As My Consent

At lease to me, it doesn't. And if that makes me an asshole, well, then, so be it. Yes, I need your consent to interact with you. Of course I do. In fact, consent to me needs three things: 1. Enthusiasm. 2. The ability to intellectually understand what you are...

Win! (Or Fail Spectacularly.)

Win! (Or Fail Spectacularly.)

"No! Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda Anthony Robbins also has a fun skit on trying to pick up a chair, that I've quoted below: A woman struggling in her marriage stood up in one of Tony's seminars to complain that she had “tried everything” to improve...

Let’s Talk About References…

Let’s Talk About References…

So, in a lot of writings here on Fet and elsewhere, I constantly see notes about vetting the people you play with and checking references. I even wrote about it. On another site, a young lady who was new to a town wanted to get some ideas on how best to check the...

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