Mmmm. YES! For me, sex is fine as a physical. FINE. But add in the mental, the communication, the consent, the need, the desire, and sex is elevated to a whole ‘nother level.

My kink is primarily in my head and yours, if I play with you.

Sure, I can flog and peg and spank and more, however, with that mental connection and a damn good REASON, I won’t.

Because while I love doing all those things, I won’t get a thing out of it without the brain stuff, too.

Which is why I rarely do pickup play.

I tend to be slow to connect with others, and so, it just doesn’t scratch my itch the way the more intimate stuff does.

And I know people who LOVE pickup play and can make a nearly instant connection as well. And those who are in it for the purely physical.

There is no WON TWOO WAY to do all of this.

And that’s part of what I love about it.

My way works for me and those I play with.

Hopefully yours works for you and you have the right number of partners for you who also enjoy what and how you do.