No, this isn’t a piece about convincing people to have sex with you.
I think that’s gross.
It’s a piece about how to be happy with “No.”
In fact, it’s a piece about how “No” can be something you look forward to, second only to “Hell Yeah!” and sometimes a very very “Hell Yeah!” thing of it’s own.
You see, over the past month, I’ve been courting a new developer for my project. Someone who might come in and actually take some ownership. We’d gone back and forth on the deal, and when they were good with it, all that was left was to introduce them to the team.
We set up a lunch date a week later.
And, over that weekend, while I was traveling, I suddenly knew it wasn’t going to happen.
I don’t know why.
Nothing had changed. But I KNEW.
And oddly, I felt a sense of relief.
And when it was confirmed, I was sure I was relieved. Not sure why, but sure that that would have not been the right fit.
And they felt it, too.
So, “No” was the best thing that could happen in this case, for all of us.
And this is just ONE example.
- That super-hot boopsie that turned you down? “Hell Yeah!” No more wasting time on a non-match!
- The bestie who can’t do dinner this evening. “Hell Yeah!” They were in a crappy mood, anyway, or maybe they had finally met that Hell Yeah! for themselves.
- The job that you really wanted. “Hell Yeah!” No moving across the country to the blizzard that just left that city without power for 9 days.
- The long-term partner who suddenly takes themselves out of the equation. “Hell Yeah!” Time to find out who comes into my life now that I have space for them.
“Hell Yeah!” Does not always happen instantly.
Not at all.
If Pet and I split up, it would probably take me several months to get to “Hell Yeah!” I’d have to snot all over the furniture and eat a dozen pints of Ben & Jerry’s first, most likely.
But it WOULD happen.
Because, “Hell Yeah!” We’d be able to move forward and find what is right for each of us.
And most of my “Nos” become “Hell Yeah!” pretty quickly. Sure, my ego may twinge when the hottie rejects me, but hey, I don’t want anyone that isn’t fucking enamored with me beyond reason, anyway…
And no, it’s not just sour grapes.
It’s understanding that no one is right for everyone, some people you are just wrong for, and that’s not just OK.
It’s “Hell Yeah!” for the right people.