A man approached me on a chat app the other day. Very handsome. Fit. Charming.
Eventually asked me if I was “into older men.”
I looked at his pics, and I was confused, so I asked him “how much older?” He said, “Well, I’m 42.” 🤣🤣🤣
I mean, I guess that’s older than…23 other ages of men (not counting anyone below 18). Sure. But considering I’m about to turn 49 in less than two months, I’m not gonna call that older.
After talking with him a bit, I kinda get the feeling that he believed that it was all downhill from there.
And for him, it may be.
Not for me, though.
I mean, I don’t think I have the all-night stamina (or not often, anyway) I once did.
But that’s not how I measure my sexual life.
Instead, I measure it in:
- How much pleasure do I feel?
- How confident am I?
- How much pleasure do I give?
- How affirming is my sex?
- How connected do I feel tot he people I have sex with?
Now, I’m not saying this is how everyone should measure their sex. I would guess a lot of people don’t care about connection, or look for affirmation from their sex.
I know for a fact some people don’t care about the pleasure they give, LOL!
But, I’m also not the only one who has said that sex has gotten better as we’ve walked over that hill.
And it’s not just for women, either. Although that is a trope. That women’s sexual peak is later and men’s sexual peak is earlier, but that’s also been debunked.
Unless you’re just specifically talking about that go-all-night and hard member thing.
But if that’s all sex is to you, well, then, I feel like your sex might, indeed, go downhill as you age.
But at 40, I met my Pet. And we agreed that we wanted an amazing sex life, and that NOTHING would threaten that quest for us—not even each other.
So, perhaps (aside from actual physical conditions) it is really just a mindset. A framing of values and priorities.
And as I am running up on 50 fast, I am expecting my sex life to continue getting better.
What are your thoughts?
What makes sex good for you?
Wherever you are in your life, is sex getting better? Or do you feel your pleasure is decreasing as you age?