So today, as this prompt pops up on my calendar, I’m brought to mind my own missteps over the past year, and how just being me contributed to others’ unhealthy patterns of behavior.
Where I was offering my friendship and advice, when what they wanted was…well, something else. And honestly, that was not even in my radar (and would not have been for a VERY LONG TIME), and I caused a lot of hurt and was subjected to a lot more strife than I usually have in my life.
Because I saw them as I saw them.
Not as they wanted to be seen.
And I ignored that. No, worse. I denied it. I knew how they wanted to be seen, and because I could not see them that way, I should have simply removed myself, rather than trying to “help” by showing them how they presented otherwise, or how I was not interested in viewing that side of them.
That’s on me.
While it wasn’t misgendering someone and insisting that they are what I view them as (that would be an easy solution for me).
It was tantamount, though. In a psychological sense.
Does it matter that they were seen by others the way I saw them?
Because I always have a choice to take people at face value for ALL that they are, or walk away if I cannot/will not.
When have YOU seen someone differently than they wanted to be seen?
Did you do damage? Did it do damage to you? What did you learn, if anything?
On the other side, have you been NOT SEEN as someone you desperately needed to be seen as by another?
Any words of wisdom?
I’m still working through this a bit, trying to find my personal equilibrium. These experiences (with several people over the past year) have changed the way I interact with people sometimes—and not for the better.