When I’m talking about kink and nonmonogamy and relationships, I’ll often use the analogy of strength training or lifting to explain how something are uncomfortable and often painful (even days beyond the original event), but that they help strengthen our relationships, and help us grow as people.
And since this evening I’m teaching on the original inspiration for that idea: cuckolding.
So I thought I’d write today a bit on this idea of mine.
I think of it like this: our interactions with others through our love and relationships are not static. They are constantly changing and flexing and growing (or shrinking).
Not unlike our bodies.
And when we are challenging ourselves emotionally or physically, it can be uncomfortable. Even painful. And it can be a source of amazing growth and satisfaction.
And like with weight lifting, it’s important to pay attention to your limits, and not push too hard, or you can injure yourself, and set your growth back by days, weeks, even years.
But when two people work together to challenge their relationship in various ways, like:
•Vulnerability, which is terrifying and painful to many.
•Trust, which is, well, trust, and one of the deepest ways we can be harmed.
•Power exchange relationships, which create imbalances power and expose vulnerability.
•Nonmonogamy, which includes jealousy and fears of inadequacy.
•Cuckolding, which involves nonmonogamy, jealousy, vulnerability, power, control, and sexuality.
(And so on. I’m sure you can come up with examples from your own life as well.)
When two people work together to take those steps and spot each other through the pain and the growth, the relationship and both individuals can gain strength and confidence and capabilities.
And often, one person will grows stronger faster than the other.
That’s to be expected. People have different abilities and growth and healing rates in all areas, not just physically. The key is to be supportive and encouraging and loving.
And sometimes, just like with working out, it’s each person on their own, making the choices to stretch a bit more here or lift a bit more there, and growing on their own, and possibly bringing that growth to the relationship.
For me, stepping into cuckolding has been like putting my relationship on steroids.
There has been nothing like it in my past experience.
Not because nothing could be like it—as I noted above, there are many ways to grow—but because this was MY right relationship at the right time.
When my partner and I share our experiences, we both grow. We’ve both had missteps, miscommunications, angry words and tears, and yet, each time we strain our relationship in small ways, the gains we see have been phenomenal.
AND, we have a record of being utterly devoted to each other and in love, which can pull us through some terrifying times. And has.
Now, I KNOW that cuckolding is not for everyone.
Even nonmonogamy is not for everyone.
I’m not a one-solution-fits-all type of person.
However, if you have an interest in cuckolding, and you want to learn more, perhaps you could join me this evening?
I’ll be teaching live (and it’s free!) all about cuckolding, and answering questions. I’ll also be introducing my new book, online cuckolding class, some amazing stories/inspiration, and announcing a new cuck-centric project with Anne and Venus Cuckoldresses.
You don’t want to miss this, if you have ANY curiosity at all about cuckolding.
Thursday, April 29 at 8pm ET
FREE to attend live!
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