Are you a bully?

Are you a bully?

Most of us are. Even when we don’t mean to be. And I’m not saying that most of us are mean to others (although that may be true sometimes as well).

We bully ourselves.

We throw words like punches at ourselves like:

🥊 “You’re not good enough.”
🥊 “Do you really think you’re able to do that kink?
🥊 “You could never do that/be that.”
🥊 “No one wants you.”

I don’t know if anyone has told you lately, but your bully is full of shit.

And also, they don’t fight fair.

Because they KNOW where to hit you so that it hurts the most. And what’s worse, you’re more likely to believe you than anyone else. After all, our inner bullies learned from all the others around us, and have taken up where they left off.


But you can fight back.

Anytime your mind bully starts saying negative crap, replace those limiting beliefs with positive ones.

Instead of, “I’m not good enough.” Try:
👉 I am better than I was yesterday and I will be even better a year from now.

Instead of, “Do you really think you’re able to do that kink?” Try:
👉 I am practicing and learning and I can and I will. I’ll look for someone to learn from.

Instead of, “You could never do that/be that.” Try:
👉 I can be whoever I want to be.

Instead of, “No one wants you.” Try:
👉 I am worth wanting, and it might take time to find my people, bu they are out there.

And YES, it does sound stupid to talk back to yourself. Believe me, I know.

But you know what? If you think about it, it’s just as stupid to talk to yourself and bully yourself in the first place. More stupid, actually.

But we’ve all done it at one time or another. So we can all make a change.

We are often our own biggest bullies.

So, fight back already!

What are your thoughts?

Do you bully yourself? Is your inner bully a sharp shooter, picking and choosing a few select targets, or do they pretty much criticize everything you do?

And how does your bully pop up in kink, specifically? Does it criticize how you look? How you play? What roles you choose?

What do they say?

And how could you fight back? What could you say in return?

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