One of our team shared a screenshot with me. @brihatbih on twitter said:
saw something that said “if I’m a lot, go find less.” and that’s the vibe. forever.
AND Hashtag also added:
On the one hand, yes this is the mood eternal
On the other hand, if you’re always a lot, maybe try to be less?
I’ve seen folx in my life try to excuse toxic behaviors as “it’s just who I am, why are you trying to change me?!” which is like “yes, you’re a lot in this way, and if you could be less, WE could be a lot more” (but not in a codependent way? More in a don’t stand in your own way sort of thing?)
But like maybe if you’re a lot to a lot of people, perhaps it’s too much?
I’ve written before and talk a lot about how humans are living breathing contradictions.
We can both love and hate someone simultaneously.
(Prefer to listen to the podcast? https://datingkinky/com/pod/fine-line)
We can want the best for someone as a human, and still horribly want to see them trip and land on their face.
It’s the nature of us.
And we both deserve to have people in our lives who love us and accept for who we are, and also be shitty fucking people sometimes who drive all those potentials away with…whatever.
Be ALL of you.
However, it’s also important to be compassionate. To care about others. To show that.
And if you are constantly “too much,” as the tweet says, or you are “brutally honest” to a fault (I have strong opinions about that), or are some variation on “I’m an asshole, get used to it,” perhaps there is some self-reflection that could be done.
Is being the way you are being getting you the results you want?
Bringing the people you want into your life and keeping them there?
Does it make you genuinely happy to be you—whoever you are being?
And the reverse also applies: If you have been hiding your truest colors or dampening your sparkle, and that’s not getting you what you want out of life, maybe it’s time to rethink that.
I did exactly what the tweet said. Multiple times. And I’ve never regretted letting those people go to find their own bliss.
What are your thoughts?