I’ll admit, I still don’t get the Orgasm Gap thing, even though I’ve written about it before.

In this post, the quote I picked up on was:

“According to both the books I’ve read on it, the orgasm gap exists primarily because our culture still overvalues penile pleasure and undervalues clitoral pleasure. “

What does culture have to do with when you are in bed with someone?

I mean, you may overvalue penile pleasure (and for me, there is a LOT to be valued), while I value my clitoral pleasure a great deal.

And I’m going to communicate my values in bed.

Fuck, I’ll communicate my values BEFORE bed.

A LOT.

Because I want to make sure, going in, that anyone I four legged frolic with is going to know some of the amazing ways to please me, and agree that those are, indeed, super-duper fun things that we will definitely do.

And culture doesn’t play into that.

Because it’s MY body and my bed and my pleasure, and my consent. And I’m not consenting to the penile-only culture (if that’s what it really is, I dunno).

Because culture is grossly wrong in a lot of areas, right?

We all agree that culture is wrong on SOMETHING, being a part of FetLife, which is most assuredly counter-culture.

So, why should we should allow culture to control how we frame our relationships, communicate, and even have sex, as women?

And for all the other genders, are you OK with this?

This idea that CULTURE dictates how you get to live and love and have sexy times?

My answer is clear, “No, your culture does not get to dictate my pleasure, thank you very much.”