Coming off two relationships totaling 20 years of my life, who both claimed to be poly, and instead were jealous and possessive, I was skeptical.
And even without that skepticism, I’ve always known that fantasies are fantasies for a reason, and reality is often NOT the same thing…
So, even though we’d talked for about 6 months about what he thought about cuckolding, and I’d teased him with some scenarios, when I decided to go through with it, to plan it, execute it, and SURPRISE him with it…
Hanging out with kinsters, reading FetLife, dating freaky folk, eventually it often comes to a point where it all seems so… mundane. So unimpressive.
That’s quite normal.
After all, humans see patterns in everything, and we are always relating it to ourselves, so we get used to even the most bizarre ideas, exposed to enough of them.
And frankly, real life often falls short of what we read, so often, it’s easier to just fall in love with an idea of something, rather than do what it takes to search for and find the tangible. Continue reading “The IDEA of D/s”
However, happening naturally, as you and your partner(s) yourselves to each other is quite different from intentional manipulation.
And when I say “manipulation,” I mean BeMod with intent, not necessarily malice. There are many GOOD reasons to manipulate a situation or a person, just as there are selfish, controlling and harmful ways.