My Top 6 Defenses Of The Chastity Cage

I’m not into chastity. Not my thing. I’m not a fan of chastity cages, either, for many reasons.

However, I do like to intellectually examine other viewpoints, and when someone asked me why an able bodied man would want to be placed in chastity and denied pleasure, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to think it through.

Using my own experience, the words of my Pet, and also having worked on several projects related to chastity over the years, here is the list I came up with:

Continue reading “My Top 6 Defenses Of The Chastity Cage”

A Bit Of Public-Not-So-Public Humiliation

Public Humiliation

I was out Thursday night with friends at a new rolled ice cream place that encourages patrons to create post-it notes for the wall, and make their mark.

I added my own, and took photos, to show Pet I was thinking of my sweet little bonbon.

Bonbon is the affectionate nickname I’ve given his “tiny” penis.

(Note, his penis isn’t really tiny—just over average—but it is a grower, not a shower, and is humorously non-threatening when soft.

My sweet treat.

So, I created my “art,” posted it, and sent him the photos for fun.

An none were the wiser (except my friends, who know).

But it’s there.

In public.

For all to see, if they only knew.

And that’s how I like to do public humiliation.

It doesn’t violate consent.

It’s fun and creative.

And it makes me smile.

Do you practice any public-not-so-public humiliation?

Do you find ways to practice your D/s or kink in ways that others won’t notice, so you can enjoy yourselves wherever you are?

Jacksonville, FL Locals: I’m Teaching for A.L.E In April!

Alternative Lifestyle Enthusiasts (A.L.E.) Logo

Super-thrilled to be teaching a double header for A.L.E. in Jacksonville on April 13th!

https://fetlife.com/events/731158

http://www.alekink.com/

Over three hours, we’ll be covering both finding your feminine leadership style for FemDoms and how to yield your strength for alpha submissives (of any/every gender).

I’m geeked. I’ve never put these two classes together, but they are perfectly complementary, and touch on how we give and receive power from both sides of the slash.

For FemDom, we’ll talk about achetypes and common tropes, and how to grow beyond the limitations we often see presented to us.

For submissives, we’ll discuss the common issues of holding your strength and boundaries (because life is a thing), while also wanting nothing more than to give everything you have to the RIGHT dominant.

These two classes will combine in amazing ways, because the submissives attending will see the pressures and concerns dominants have, while the dominants attending will get insight into how submissives are often cast in one-dimensional roles as well, and can be so much more in service when accepted for the multi-faceted amazing humans they are.

I’m looking forward to meeting new kinksters in Jacksonville, since I’ve not really been before, and having this amazing opportunity to share some of my own thoughts on this wonderful lifestyle we live.

*smiles*

Kinky Kollege, Chicago, IL

Kinky Kollege

I’m teaching at Kinky Kollege!

STDs & STIs—What Do You HAVE to Know to Make Informed Decisions?

There is a lot of mis- and dis-information still around about sexually transmitted diseases and infections that could make a HUGE difference in what you consent to, how your consent, and how you choose to play.

FemDom: Finding Your Feminine Leadership Style

There is a lot online and in print about domination, mostly male-oriented, because, let’s face it, there are more of them than us. There is still a lot about femdom out there, too, though. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of that is actually written by men, too, being over-sexualized and fantastical. This class is about the real deal. How to find YOUR perfect balance of hot, sexy, tough, firm, loving, sweet, and whatever else you want to throw in the pot. Based on my series of Women in Charge books (available directly, posting on Amazon Soon).

Cuckolding for Couples

Cuckolding is a hot trend online these days, but is it a viable kink? I’ll give an enthusiastic YES! Not only is it a fun fetish for cuck and cuckoldress, but it actually enhances intimacy, love, creativity and fun in your relationship. Based on my popular 2 1/2-month online course, this class covers setting ground rules, finding a bull, creating an amazing cuckolding relationship and troubleshooting.

 

This event will take place at a beautiful hotel & convention center just 10 minutes from O’Hare International Airport and a short ride from Downtown Chicago.

The Nation’s top Alternative Lifestyle Educators will be at Kinky Kollege offering classes on everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask.

The curriculum promises to be orgasmic. Earn credits toward your Masters (or Master’s) degree with accredited classes designed for students at every level of experience, ranging from beginners to the extreme edge player.

There will be many classes, spanning all three days of the event, providing for an intense educational opportunity. Some classes will have hands on lab time and opportunity for professional coaching.

Dominants: To Influence, Be Influenced

To Influence, Be Influenced

“Oh great and powerful dominant, bestow upon me the blessing of your attention, the sunlight of your love, and the always-correctness of your counsel.”

If only! LOL!

Actually, I don’t know about y’all, but as a dominant I get first messages like that every day.

It’s not THAT great.

Because any dominant knows that’s not influence. That’s fetish delivery.

Continue reading “Dominants: To Influence, Be Influenced”

Writing Prompt: Pick A Photo

Nookie Playing Dress Up

My photo:

Nookie Playing Dress Up

This photo represents a deep bond in my relationship with my Pet that we’ve shared from day 1: A sense of adventure and playfulness.

We lived two hours apart when we met (in person), and saw each other every couple of weeks. In between, we shared ideas and images that we loved, discussed them, and sometimes made them our own.

This image was the result of one of those images, as was the resulting scene with lots of leather and my dildo collection…

But it’s not just recreating that is so special to me.

It’s that we work together so well to pull these things off.

He is an amazing cheerleader and enthusiastic (and enamored) photographer. A joyful bottom. A skilled lover.

EVERY time we do this, we have knocked it out of the park, and explored yet another way of expressing our sexuality, while growing in what we know about each other, what we like, and fun new kinks.

Looking over my collection of photos, I can see at least 10 more images that happened this way as well. It’s part of us, and threads through much of what we do and how we love.

The Prompt

Pick a photo you have posted for the public, or link to one. Write about what it means to you, the feelings it evokes, anything.

Feel free to write in the comments or in your own journal and link here (so others can read it), or just think on it or write on it and keep it to yourself, if you prefer.

Write a sentence. Or a paragraph. Or an essay. Or whatever this is to you. Talk it out. Make it yours, if it’s not.

Taming your Masculine Pride: Male Submission

“Kneel lowly worm! You are not worthy to lick my boots!”

Oh, jeez. Ummm. Ok, so that’s not gonna work. Not for 90% of the submissives, male or otherwise, I know.

So why is it such a pervasive idea?

Taming your Masculine Pride: Male Submission Class Description

There is a lot online and in print about submission, mostly female-oriented, because, let’s face it, there are more female submissives than male. And what male submissives are writing is more fantasitical and porn-driven than what you’ll find in a real relationship. So, can you be yourself in today’s society and still submit? Yes! You can. Nookie will give you all the tools you need to find your way.

FemDom: Finding Your Feminine Leadership Style

“I don’t want to be a FemDom. I don’t like leather!”

To some, this may seem silly. To others,this pretty much describes their attitude. They’ve probably been beset by do-me subs and seen too much porn or TV episodes with bitchy ice queens.

This class will bust all those assumptions.

FemDom: Finding Your Feminine Leadership Style Class Description

There is a lot online and in print about domination, mostly male-oriented, because, let’s face it, there are more of them than us. There is still a lot about femdom out there, too, though. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of that is actually written by men, too, being over-sexualized and fantastical. This class is about the real deal. How to find YOUR perfect balance of hot, sexy, tough, firm, loving, sweet, and whatever else you want to throw in the pot.


Read a bit more about what I think about FemDom.

Dominance Is Stronger Than You Think…

A man bowing his head to a pair of patent heels behind cage bars.

I’m in Paris today. It’s raining. I’m loathe to leave my tiny space, but I will, and soon, if for no reason than because exploring is something I do.

I had a few moments to write, and in my calendar I found a conversation I had nearly a year ago.

The same conversation that promoted Real Dominants Don’t… He Said To Me, a piece that was a collection of ideas I’ve experienced in the many years I’ve been online, all tossed at me by those who were searching for their “real dominant.”

In reading the discussion, though, there was more to it than just those pieces. A conversation about dominance.

I’ll share that with you today, and I hope you’ll share with me your own thoughts on dominance and submission and how you see these ideas fitting in with your own life. Continue reading “Dominance Is Stronger Than You Think…”

Real Dominants Don’t… He Said To Me

Image of a happily maybe orgasmic woman with the words: "When you get a taste of a real dominant, the rest of the world never really tastes the same. And: "Do 'real' dominants taste different from other humans? Huh. *licks self* I can't tell."

“Real dominants don’t ask the opinions of others.”

“Real dominants don’t allow questions from their submissive.”

“Real dominants don’t accept limits or requirements from anyone.”

“Real dominants don’t have sex with their submissives, or other dominants, or love anyone, ever.”

“Real dominants don’t do anything but what they want to do.”

“Real dominants just KNOW.”

“Once a submissive can place requirements on a dominant, can ask questions, or change their mind, the submissive is in charge, and the dominant is not a real dominant.”

I checked the profile again. Yup, submissive.

Irony, meet submissive. Submissive, meet irony. I think you two have a lot to talk about.