“Kneel lowly worm! You are not worthy to lick my boots!”
Oh, jeez. Ummm. Ok, so that’s not gonna work. Not for 90% of the submissives, male or otherwise, I know.
So why is it such a pervasive idea?
Taming your Masculine Pride: Male Submission Class Description
There is a lot online and in print about submission, mostly female-oriented, because, let’s face it, there are more female submissives than male. And what male submissives are writing is more fantasitical and porn-driven than what you’ll find in a real relationship. So, can you be yourself in today’s society and still submit? Yes! You can. Nookie will give you all the tools you need to find your way.
“You’re not submissive!”
If you’re an alpha submissive, you’ve heard this enough times that you may even be starting to believe them. After all, you’re no doormat, you have standards, and damn it, you know how to run the show.
You just don’t want to.
The Alpha Submissive Class Description:
You know you are submissive. And yet, you are a strong, take-charge kind of guy or girl, which makes some dominants complain of topping-from-the bottom, or claim that you’re not submissive at all. How do you find your submission and yield, when the time is truly right?
WARNING: This is a long one, and I am very specifically taking a side in this one, then offering my reasoning up for debate and picking apart.
I’ve had several conversations in the past week in which the original writing I did on the responsibility of a dominant has been relevant:
The Responsibility Of The Dominant
@thewiz11 commented, and as I was replying, I realized it would be a good debate piece, allowing me to dig deeper into the meat of what this means to me, in my life, and defend my view against any and all comers.
Before I go there, though, let me explain something.
This is how I live my life. This is what the role of dominant means to me. It may not be what dominant means to you, and that’s cool. I’ve written a lot about dominance and submission and how they are sliding scales and how there is no WON TWOO WAY™ that works for everyone. YMMV.
That’s important. smiles I’m offering this up for debate to proof my convictions, and to allow others to take apart my points, if you so choose.
Continue reading “Let’s Debate: The Responsibility Of The Dominant”
And I appreciate her faith in me. I really do. I know it came from a place of love and endless belief.
But she was wrong.
Horribly wrong. Continue reading “Mother Told Be I Could Be ANYTHING I Wanted To Be…”
Hanging out with kinsters, reading FetLife, dating freaky folk, eventually it often comes to a point where it all seems so… mundane. So unimpressive.
That’s quite normal.
After all, humans see patterns in everything, and we are always relating it to ourselves, so we get used to even the most bizarre ideas, exposed to enough of them.
And frankly, real life often falls short of what we read, so often, it’s easier to just fall in love with an idea of something, rather than do what it takes to search for and find the tangible. Continue reading “The IDEA of D/s”
I mean, it’s kind of the point that the sub doesn’t have all the power. They don’t want it. They specifically want to give that up!
Who thinks up this drivel, and speeches it out like gospel so that new kinkies take it to heart and pass it on?
I’m in danger of spraining my optic nerve every time I read that drivel from some internet gobshite, due to my extreme eye roll.
STOP SAYING THAT.
And in case your logic centers are not firing, because you’re too excited for those NYE parties coming in a few hours, let me logic this out for you.
Continue reading ““The Sub Has All The Power…” *cough cough* “Bullshit.””
So, in PE (Power Exchange) relationships, we all have needs. Knowing what those are and understanding how to get those met is critical.
I’ve read a lot about how dominants should put their subs’ needs first. I think this is backwards and wrong, and I’ll explain why.
First, here is how I believe dominants need to prioritize needs in their relationship:
1. Dominant’s Needs
2. Submissive’s Needs
3. Dominant’s Wants
4. Submissive’s Wants
Let’s look at this. Continue reading “The Needs Hierarchy”
The dominant is responsible for one thing in their relationship:
The entire relationship.
The dominant is responsible for everything in their relationship. How they behave, the results they get, how their sub behaves…
Whoa! Wait just one darned minute here.
Am I off my rocker?
I don’t think so. Let me explain.
Continue reading “The Responsibility Of The Dominant”
A friend in my feed posted this a few hours ago:
On the surface, it seems like this is a question that could help separate the wheat from the chaff, for many. or the posers from the “real deal,” perhaps. Continue reading “Fuck YEAH! I’m in it for the SEX!”