NC Submissive Locals: I’m Teaching At The Submissive Safe Haven Symposium AGAIN!

Submissive Safe Haven

Damn! Soooooo exciting! My fifth year at SSH, and I’m thrilled.

https://fetlife.com/events/722303

They have grown so much in five years, and the value they offer to the submissive community is incalculable.

This year, I’m doing two classes built specifically for SSH (that will be added to my round-up after they are debuted there):

Dating Kinky: Hands-On Profile

I’ve already given my kinky dating class at SSH, and apparently, they want more. This class is about Dating Kinky, zeroing in on one of the biggest challenges we all face: How to present ourselves to the people we hope to meet for play, for dating, for love, and more. We’ll work together as a group on the dreaded self-focused essay and also give tips and collective suggestions on sharing photos and more.

Communication Across The Slash: For S-Types

Communication is communication, right? Well, yes. And no. For some, especially for submissives, it can be beyond difficult to speak up and say what needs to be said. In this class, we’ll discuss ways to share your thoughts with your D-Types and ideas for helping to build a framework of communication within your relationship to last you for decades.

Like I said, this is my fifth year being invited to teach, and not only am I honored at being asked back, but looking at the line up of teachers and topics, I’m thrilled to be part of such a group.

I hope to see you there!

Jacksonville, FL Locals: I’m Teaching for A.L.E In April!

Alternative Lifestyle Enthusiasts (A.L.E.) Logo

Super-thrilled to be teaching a double header for A.L.E. in Jacksonville on April 13th!

https://fetlife.com/events/731158

http://www.alekink.com/

Over three hours, we’ll be covering both finding your feminine leadership style for FemDoms and how to yield your strength for alpha submissives (of any/every gender).

I’m geeked. I’ve never put these two classes together, but they are perfectly complementary, and touch on how we give and receive power from both sides of the slash.

For FemDom, we’ll talk about achetypes and common tropes, and how to grow beyond the limitations we often see presented to us.

For submissives, we’ll discuss the common issues of holding your strength and boundaries (because life is a thing), while also wanting nothing more than to give everything you have to the RIGHT dominant.

These two classes will combine in amazing ways, because the submissives attending will see the pressures and concerns dominants have, while the dominants attending will get insight into how submissives are often cast in one-dimensional roles as well, and can be so much more in service when accepted for the multi-faceted amazing humans they are.

I’m looking forward to meeting new kinksters in Jacksonville, since I’ve not really been before, and having this amazing opportunity to share some of my own thoughts on this wonderful lifestyle we live.

*smiles*

SC Locals: I’m Teaching At The Academy In April!

The Academy Dungeon

So thrilled to have been invited by ChristianV to teach at The Academy in Georgetown, SC on April 6th!

And not only do I get to present at an amazing venue to a new group of people (one of my FAVORITE things), I also get to present one of the classes near and dear to my heart:

The Alpha Submissive—How to Yield Your Strength

You know you are submissive. And yet, you are a strong, take-charge kind of guy or girl, which makes some dominants complain of topping-from-the bottom, or claim that you’re not submissive at all. How do you find your submission and yield, when the time is truly right?

I started teaching this class five years ago, after one thousand too many submissives told me that they were confused about their submission, because they had been told that if they {fill in the blank with any bullet point below}, they were not REALLY submissive.

  • Had healthy boundaries—hell, have ANY boundaries at all.
  • Set limits.
  • Wanted to get to know a dominant before submitting.
  • Had opinions and—heaven forbid—shared them.
  • Took charge in daily life—especially at work.
  • Preferred to take their time giving over power.
  • Discussed what they are looking for and what turns them on (versus focusing ONLY on the dominant partner).
  • Had standards
  • Held themselves and others accountable.
  • Looked “dominant” (what does that even mean?).

I admit, I wrote the first thumbnail for this class as a defense for masculine-identified submissives who were constantly being told that if they did not act “beta,” dress in women’s clothing, accept pegging, or grovel and lick any woman’s boots that they were not “true” submissives.

Faugh!

However, even as I was writing it, examples were coming to mind of submissives of all genders being told they weren’t “subby enough,” and worse, wondering if it were true, because the more people pushed them that way, the less they felt like opening up to ANYONE.

So, this class was created.

And I’m thrilled to be presenting it for ChristianV and everyone at The Academy.

The FetLife Event link: https://fetlife.com/events/753092

The Academy Website: http://www.academydungeon.com

I hope if you’re in the area, you’ll be able to join me. smiles


Taming your Masculine Pride: Male Submission

“Kneel lowly worm! You are not worthy to lick my boots!”

Oh, jeez. Ummm. Ok, so that’s not gonna work. Not for 90% of the submissives, male or otherwise, I know.

So why is it such a pervasive idea?

Taming your Masculine Pride: Male Submission Class Description

There is a lot online and in print about submission, mostly female-oriented, because, let’s face it, there are more female submissives than male. And what male submissives are writing is more fantasitical and porn-driven than what you’ll find in a real relationship. So, can you be yourself in today’s society and still submit? Yes! You can. Nookie will give you all the tools you need to find your way.

FemDom: Finding Your Feminine Leadership Style

“I don’t want to be a FemDom. I don’t like leather!”

To some, this may seem silly. To others,this pretty much describes their attitude. They’ve probably been beset by do-me subs and seen too much porn or TV episodes with bitchy ice queens.

This class will bust all those assumptions.

FemDom: Finding Your Feminine Leadership Style Class Description

There is a lot online and in print about domination, mostly male-oriented, because, let’s face it, there are more of them than us. There is still a lot about femdom out there, too, though. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of that is actually written by men, too, being over-sexualized and fantastical. This class is about the real deal. How to find YOUR perfect balance of hot, sexy, tough, firm, loving, sweet, and whatever else you want to throw in the pot.


Read a bit more about what I think about FemDom.

Sexy, Safe & Pain-Free Anal (Including Pegging!)

What, what? In the butt!

Oh, that never grows old for me. And neither does anal play. There is so much amazing pleasure to be had that is overlooked because “It hurts,” or “It’s wrong.”

Let’s talk about anal pleasure and separate fact from fiction, demystifying the process.

Sexy, Safe & Pain-Free Anal (Including Pegging!) Class Description

Based on my book In Through The Out Door, this class is for those of you curious about anal, but (get it, butt? LOL!) worried about the pain, the mess, the ghey, and more. Come and spend some time with me learning about spear-fishing for poop sharks! *smiles*

Yield Your Strength: Living And Loving As An Alpha Submissive

“You’re not submissive!”

If you’re an alpha submissive, you’ve heard this enough times that you may even be starting to believe them. After all, you’re no doormat, you have standards, and damn it, you know how to run the show.

You just don’t want to.

The Alpha Submissive Class Description:

You know you are submissive. And yet, you are a strong, take-charge kind of guy or girl, which makes some dominants complain of topping-from-the bottom, or claim that you’re not submissive at all. How do you find your submission and yield, when the time is truly right?

Dating Kinky, The Class

One of the most common questions I’m asked is, “Where Do I Find ______ (Fill In The Blank Amazing Kinky Person)?”

This class address that topic and others, including writing a profile, photos, starting a conversation, and more.

Dating Kinky Class Description:

In this class, we’ll cover some of the most important actions and attitudes for finding one or several lifestyle partners, from writing your profile and choosing the best photos to get your point across to making contact, common pitfalls, and some hilarious examples of ‘when personals go wrong!’

We’ll also discuss which online sites offer the best options for connecting with your kinky peeps.

This is a very interactive class, so bring your pencil or pen and some paper to write down those tips from the creator of https://www.datingkinky.com and the co-author of http://datingkinkybook.com


More about my thoughts on kinky dating:

Kinky Dating

 

I Command You To Understand! Communication For Kinky Relationships

If only it worked that way, right? Life would be so much easier.

But, alas.

We need to look for other methods. Luckily, I have a few suggestions.

Communication Class Description:

No matter where you turn for advice in this world of kinky relationships and power exchange, “Communicate,” is the first thing you’ll hear. So, what is communication? How do we get better at it? We’ll talk about the pieces of communication and how they add up to make a successful kinky relationship.


Read more about my thoughts in kinky communication.

The Art Of Toilet Paper Bondage: Behavior Modification In Power Exchange Relationships

I like to say that behavior modification happens whether you want it to or not, so understanding it can play a critical role in your power exchange.

Heck, I recommend it to both sides of the slash and anyone who wants to get more from their relationships with others…

Behavior Modification Class Description:

What is behavior modification? It’s how behavior is changed through interaction. In D/s circles, we may call it training, but even in vanilla situations, behavior modification happens whether you want it to or not. So, since it’s going to happen anyway, why not do it right? This class is all about the basics of behavior modification and how to make it work for you in your relationships, and how to use it as the basis for more in-depth D/s training.


See more about my thoughts on Behavior Modification.