Are you really?
Because most of the time when people pull this piece of garbage saying out of their mouths, they are not only NOT stating facts (usually hugely inflated opinions, actually), but they are often not “just” anything.
They are also throwing in a huge does of smugness, meanness, superiority and more.
But hey, it’s OK to that other people like shit, because they have “facts.”
Do they back those facts up?
Because it’s not actually about facts. It’s about having an excuse to be a pig to others.
Here are a few other choice phrases (I’m sure you can come up with more):
- Call it like I see it.
- I’m brutally honest.
- I don’t mince words.
And let me be clear, I’ve said all of these and probably will say these things again in the future.
And I’ll know, when I do, that I’m being a jerked.
Because what all of these have in common is that they care zero for the other person in the conversation.
Which, to be fair, is sometimes warranted and 100% valid.
Most of the time, though, well, not so much.
And those people who pride themselves on “brutal” honesty in my experience care FAR less for the honesty, but delight in the brutal.
I’ve been there.
It’s EASY to deliver the truth with kindness and care.
Of course, it’s often easier (and saditically more fun) to deliver it without—or even with a heaping helping of brutality.
So when I hear these things now, they translate into something very simple to me:
“I don’t care enough to treat you with compassion during this conversation.”
And that’s all I need to know.