You are worthy.

You are worthy.

(Inspired by @_do_ on FetLife)

You are.

Some people will tell you that you’re not and you need to change to be worthy.

I disagree with this.

You are worthy of love. You are worthy of friendship. You are worthy of compassion.

I know you. I believe in you.

The challenge is that you may not be communicating that to the people you want love, friendship and compassion from. Or maybe to anyone.

And that’s an important distinction.

Because it’s not necessarily about FIXING you. It’s about fixing your processes.

1. Your choices. Who are you choosing to ask for love/friendship/compassion from? Maybe you’re not choosing the right people for you.

2. Your approach. How you approach each person often sets the tone for your relationship. As they say, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”

3. Your communication. And this is a biggie, because it’s not only how you communicate, but WHAT you communicate, which is often dependent on…

4. Your habitual thinking patterns. Some people might say this is changing YOU. I disagree. Changing my mind is not changing who I am. It’s reacting to information I’m given, and hopefully creating a new and better understanding of reality.

What we think is not some sort of unassailable sacred concept. In fact, I wrote Don’t Believe Everything You Think (https://datingkinky.com/blog/lifestyle-thoughts/dont-believe-everything-you-think/) in August of 2018 specifically to combat that.

Becoming someone who receives tons of love and friendship and acceptance, even when you’ve not been that person before IS possible.


I know this because I made a choice to make that change in my mid-30s.

And I examined those four aspects of me and changed them bit-by-bit over time as I received positive feedback and saw positive results.

It took me 3+ years before I really felt like I’d made progress. About 5 before I felt like I was as good as the “average” person at it. And after 13 years, I’m thrilled I took the time while still looking forward to continuing to improve my behaviors and my life.

And I’m not any more worthy now than I was then. (Another writing on a similar topic, from a slightly different perspective: No One Will Love Me For Who I Am: https://datingkinky.com/blog/general-love-romance/no-one-will-love-me-for-who-i-am/ )

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One Response

  1. My belief is that of a simple nature.
    My belief,
    Is that we are all people;
    Is that we were all born of this planet,
    Is that we all have love in our hearts, hate in our hearts, jealously in our hearts and more;
    We have an understanding of our teachings and a lot of the time we are ignorant of other teachings.
    I could go on and on,
    But the simple point is that we’re all human and therefore equally but exactly worthy of anyone else.

    And this all includes our private desires and personal kinky get offs.
    We won’t always have the same desires or even agree on others, but that also makes us all “equally different”.
    For example I’m a straight male who on occasions can’t get enough of a woman pegging me, when having solo pleasures more often than not I’ll get 1 of many dogs out and fully enjoy it like it’s a normal part of sex. (This has only ever been my own dirty secret after far as seeing me actually riding it). That’s just the way I like it.
    Not all people who new this would consider it as straight, or even ok at that matter.
    But that’s ok and still ill see all and everyone as equals

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