Last year, I wrote a piece about consent. This morning, I got a comment on FetLife on that piece saying: 

“…the type of consent you’re describing:

‘Do you like when I do this? Would you like more? What if I move lower? May I touch you here?’

Would be a boring turnoff to everyone I’ve ever played with who I can think of. That’s service topping, which is fine, but plenty of people don’t want service topping.”

SirDudeTheBrutal on FetLife

The conversation has continued. You can see it in this thread, if you’re curious: https://fetlife.com/users/50648/posts/4759575

There is a Huge difference between:

And this:

Because HOW we speak words matters.

Now, maybe neither of those audios really do it for you, or the consent idea is not your thing.

And that’s OK. I’m not out to be appealing to everyone in the world. (I don’t have the energy to fight y’all off, anyway! LOL!)

This is really about how we communicate.

Here’s another example I’ve used before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ep2lzX2EG58

Versus:

I was SUPER excited when I found out Michael was releasing a version of “I’m Your Man,” because I LOVED Bill Pritchard’s version from “I’m Your Fan.”

Unfortunately, I found Michael’s version felt whiny and entitled to me, while Bill Pritchard’s version feels like surrender from a place of strength…

Same words.

Different ways of saying them.

What you say matters.

How you say it also matters.