On March 8, 2022, I presented the topic Accept Love: Take No Shit for Dating Kinky. The original presentation was free to all who joined us live, and was recorded for Dating Kinky’s PLUS members to access through the Dating Kinky Library (over 400 videos and 550 hours of content!).

Here is a clip from that 90 minute show, where I talk about the importance of good personal boundaries.

https://youtu.be/9ed7l7Y7VYM

Transcript:

So first thing up first ever because like I am so SO up on this platform right now.

Boundaries.

Anyone here surprised by the idea that I brought up boundaries? I mean, yeah, it’s in the description.
I know that. But anyone who has spent any time around me in the past couple of months, knows that
boundaries are huge on my mind.

And the reason that they are huge on my mind, and I’m going to say this clearly:

Boundaries are the key to not only saving ourselves, but our relationships. They are what take us away from “getting by” or from average to healthy, good and strong.

People are afraid that expressing their boundaries will push others away or force others to act against their own will because this is what we’re told by people who mean the best who were told the wrong thing. AND by people who will benefit from our lack of boundaries.

Let me say that again.

We are told that expressing our boundaries will push people away by people who love us and mean the best for us because they were told that.

And we’re told it by people who benefit from our lack of boundaries.

Now, as I’ve already said, and I’m sure you could have guessed.

I believe the opposite is true.

When we do not set and maintain boundaries, we end up resentful and bitter and withdrawn from relationships that suck and suck and suck the life out of us.

And that is what leads to the eventual breakdown of us.

Our hearts.

Our minds and our relationships.

You see, the most successful and sexy people I know have the strongest boundaries.

Now, that’s not to be confused with the most boundaries. Having numerous boundaries is not the same thing as having the right boundaries and having them be strong.

What are your thoughts?

On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the importance of good personal boundaries to a happy and successful life?

Can you give an example of how boundaries have made your life better, or how poor boundaries have causes you trouble?

What about the people in your life? Do you prefer that they have good boundaries? Why or why not?