Would you want your scenes to match your fantasies?
Maybe you would.
After all, you’ve probably been working on them for a while. You might be heavily invested. Have amazingly detailed fantasies that really take you everywhere you want to go.
(Prefer to listen to the podcast? https://datingkinky.com/pod/kinky-fantasies )
And frankly, that might be just the perfect thing for you.
For me, though, not so much.
While I have a pretty damned good imagination, and I’ve had some stellar fantasies in my lifetime, I’ve learned that my fantasies can’t hold even the faintest candle to reality.
What I have thought I wanted over the years was NOTHING compared to what I received when I finally let go of how things “should be,” and really began to revel in “what is.”
I could not come close to imagining what I have available to me now, in terms of possibilities and friends and activities, because I had zero frame of reference.
After all, how would I know what a person could bring into my life without knowing that person? How could I know what I might respond to or how, if I’ve never experienced it?
And as many a kinkster knows, that thing that you always thought “no way” about sometimes becomes “FUCK YEAH!”
In addition, for me, there is also the element of surprise, which can NEVER be planned for in my fantasies.
Even the mistakes and oopsies, and bonding over awkwardness and laughter mid-scene have come to mean far more to me than the ideas I built in my head, no matter how fantastical.
Now, I’m not knocking those of you who are chasing the fantasy. You do you. I mean, I get it…I’ve been there. Just because it’s not for me doesn’t mean it’s not right for you.
But for me, and maybe for you, if you try it, letting go of the fantasies and just BEING with my whole self, my body, my mind, and my heart, wide open to the possibilities, is what has skyrocketed my life so far past my fantasies that I don’t even recognize them anymore.
Because what I have instead is so much better.
What about you?
Are you chasing a kinky fantasy? If so, care to share it (or parts of it)?
Or have you found another way that works for you?
