I recently had an amazing conversation and planning/strategy session for a new FemDom project with pro-Domme ThankYouEmpress. As part of our collecting of information and brain dumping, I pulled out the books I’ve written over the years on FLRs, FemDom, and Women In Charge to share with her and to look over myself.
When I opened one I wrote back in 2012, a specific chapter jumped out at me. And I felt like sharing it with you—not just from a FemDom perspective (although that is my view on it), but from any power exchange perspective. smiles
Maybe you have that need. The burning in your heart and gut to serve. Serving feels good to you. It feels right.
There is something very comforting and content about being in your place, and dong what you feel you are born to do.
And to take that step…
Long-term service becomes it’s own reward. You learn your D-Type, and you create bonds that tie you together, exploring each other’s needs and preferences with an intimacy rarely found outside the power exchange dynamic.
If it’s a phase, you may get over it. Submission/slavery may be a fantasy for you, good only until the next orgasm, or until your life intrudes, and you decide it is not for you after all.
However, you may have also been fighting these feelings your whole life. They will build and grow upon themselves, driving you batty with need and desire, and a craving to find that place you belong.
When you find your place, or create your place with the right person, you will find that the chains that bind you are stronger than iron or steel, or the collar around your neck.
There is a book I’ve read (ok, I admit it, I read it more than once), called ‘The Invisible Ring.’
The premise is one of a female-led magical society, with warlocks controlled by a ring around their manly bits, that would offer searing pain at a level determined by the lady’s need for control.
The entire story focuses on one witch female and a rebellious male slave she buys, and “collars” with an invisible ring.
[SPOILER ALERT] Turns out the ring she uses to control her warlocks is love.
Love, affection, respect, honor… those are a few of the ways to transcend servitude into something far more.
Dedication, if you will.
If you have been a submissive in a power exchange relationship before, you know what I’m referring to.
If not, you can’t feel that way by fantasizing, playing online, or reading the right smut, but you can feel the echos of it, calling to you with their siren’s call.
It’s a function of the energy that passes between you and your Stompy Boots, your Sun-Moon-and-Stars, your Dominant, your Master.
The thing about a need so deep, though, is that it’s not just fulfilling and liberating. It’s also scary and consuming in its power.
The LAST thing you need as a submissive/slave is your fear getting in the way of your service.
You may have wanted this for as long as you can remember, but when the opportunity arises, or things get a bit difficult, if you resist (which is only natural), you can lose it all.
At some point, your desire must overcome your fear and shame for you to get your deepest need.
It’s not just reading this blog or taking those first few steps. It’s seeing it through.
I say that because taking that first step (like sending a message to a potential D-type online) can feel so much like you’ve just jumped a hurdle, that you can stop and celebrate.
You can, but not forever. It takes so much more. No matter where you are, there is always more. Keep working it, finding more pleasure in your service, in your desires, and in whom you serve.
And there will be bumps in the road no matter your desire or effort. There will be resistance from inside you because change is hard. No matter how happy something makes you or how right it feels, your mind can find excuses to seize upon, to set you back off the path.
And you may CHOOSE to step off that path because it’s not for you.
That’s fair and valid.
But if you stumble off that path by accident, by force of habit, rather than intentionally, you may kick yourself forever.
What are your thoughts?
Do you need to serve? To offer the deepest parts of yourself to another, for their pleasure, their amusement and their use? What does that feel and look like to you?
Do you crave service? Do you yearn for the one(s) who will offer themselves to you totally, completely, utterly? What does that feel and look like to you?