I’ve heard over and over that no matter their role, people have a hard time figuring out what to say during sex.
They complain that they feel kind of silly saying the things that come to mind.
And I get that.
I used to be exactly that way.
And, then I got over it.
As you’ve probably figured, it wasn’t that easy. And it was, in some ways.
You see, I read a lot about dirty talk, and I thought about dirty talk that I had loved during different encounters, and I realized something very simple:
It all sounds stupid, when you say it (or think it) outside of playtime.
They also say:
Sometimes, all I can come up with is, “does that feel good?” or, “would you like me to go faster or slower?”
And I get that, too.
Frankly, for many people, that is a perfect place to begin.
Ask questions about how your partner is feeling, or tell your partner how you feel:
- “Do you like that?”
- “How does that feel?”
- “That feels so good.”
I’ll tell you a secret…
During playtime, you can practically sing “Mary Had A Little Lamb,” and it’ll be hot. Because you are connecting with your partner, and the CONNECTION is what is important.
But, we are human, we can’t help but want more. Perfection. A personal dirty talk style.
So, after that first step, of making short statements or asking basic questions, try the next stage:
- “Mmmm. You like that, don’t you?”
- “You feel so good wrapped around me (inside me).”
- “Oh, yes. I love that.”
- “You make me feel so good.”
You know, bump it up a level.
Still not much variation, but it’s taking communication to a whole new, sexy level.
Then, when you feel comfortable, bump it up again, perhaps with a little name-calling, or swearing:
- “I bet you like that, don’t you, my little slut?”
- “I’m going to make your ass feel so fucking good.”
- “Hell yes. Yes! Yes!”
- “You rock my fucking world. I love your tongue inside me.”
Mostly, I’ve found that I can just talk.
A stream of my sexy consciousness.
Thankful and grateful words.
Powerful and controlling words.
Want more dirty talk?
Like the next steps or themes to play on, like:
• Loving and sentimental • Dominant and powerful • Sexy and seductive
Of course you do!
I did a special presentation on Dirty Talk a while back, and the replay is FREE for the first week as part of your PLUS Membership trial when you join Dating Kinky.
It’s built by kinksters for kinksters, poly, queer, trans folk, and anyone not-quite-vanilla—and it’s FREE.
And, we’d love to have you!