Just Thursday, I was contacted by a self-identified male dominant on Collarspace for the first time. His message was short and sweet.
I replied.
His response inspired me, and I knew I had a perfect example of why, when it comes to dating kinky (or any kind of dating, really), I recommend making your profile very YOU, to disqualify those you don’t want to attract.
HIM
YOU’RE KIDDING… RIGHT?
ME
About what, exactly?
HIM
If you’re so… super smart?Why not just be regular smart, and delete the novel. And just use an honest, super profile, where you’re not so super full of yourself?
NOTE: He’s referring to the part of my profile (at least, I assume), where I say, “I am super-smart and interested in your mind as much as your body. I’m good at sex and sensuality and believe there is more to a successful encounter than a grab for the genitals.”
ME
Because my profile does exactly what its supposed to do. It turns off people like you, who are not my target partners, and really really attracts the people I enjoy. Why would I change it to something you would like to read, when that means I would attract you? I don’t want that.
*smiles*
So, a perfect example of why we put effort into crafting our profiles. So that people who are definitely NOT our targets can either self de-select (by simply not writing), or potentially make it VERY clear they are not a good match early on, so we don’t waste our time.
So, I’m editing my book, Dating Kinky right now. I have test readers reading it, and feedback is trickling in. I hope to have it available for sale by August 1.
