Specific Experiences People (SEP) Versus Wide Experiences People (WEP), And A Call For Experts

Specific Experiences People (SEP) Versus Wide Experiences People (WEP), And A Call For Experts

Specific Experiences People (SEP) MAY be new to kink.

Their experiences may be limited to online research, watching some porn, and/or using a few toys from the local adult store with a partner while tied up.

OR, SE people MAY be VERY EXPERIENCED in certain areas.

  • They’ve spent 27 years in a D/s relationship. They know the ins and outs of THAT relationship, and are totally bewildered by dating in this day and age, and the new consent culture.
  • They are well-known for their pick-up play and their topping skills, honed over a decade, while not having and maintaining healthy relationships.
  • They are veterans of the consent expected in swing relationships and events, while being new to kink standards for play and sexuality.
  • They may have had relationships that always focused on consent, and never went “off the reservation” into CNC (consensual nonconsent), so find that a bit bewildering and intimidating.

While Wide Experiences (WE) People may have tried MANY different things. Played in lots of the areas. Sure, still not all, but they have done hundreds of pick-up play sessions, maintained long-term healthy relationships (maybe even poly!), and have delved into the darkest corners of edge play and CNC.

OR, they may have LOTS of experiences, but shallowly. Never really diving deep into any of them.

Neither SEP nor WEP are inherently better.

However, each is often better in some ways than other at some things.

For example, I’ve been called a ‘know-it-all’ more than once. Because I write about my opinions. because I put myself out there.

Thing is, I write about what I know (or want to know), and I stay away from things I have zero clues about, like:

  • Whips
  • Homosexuality
  • Consensual non-consent
  • Leather

And so on.

THis matters, because when people approach me about things I don’t know, I say:

“I don’t know. Maybe this person, _, might have some thoughts for you.”

And I try to connect them.

This is also why I LOVE different POVs.

Because I cannot ever do all the things from all the perspectives, even if I wanted to.

So, here’s the call:

I want you!

Or, rather, I want your expertise and your perspective of it.

I’m creating a list of people who know their topics, either as an enthusiast with X number of years or as a teacher/educator/researcher/whatever.

People I can reach out to about kinky topics and ask for feedback.

Maybe once a week or so, probably less often.

If you’re game, I will ask for your email (that’s the easiest way to make that contact), and I will use it ONLY for this purpose (no marketing).

Here are some topics that you may have expertise in, but of course, I encourage you to share what you’re good at, even if your thing(s) isn’t listed:

  • FemDom (being one, loving one)
  • D/s, M/s, O/p relationships
  • Fire Play
  • Bondage
  • Communication
  • Whips
  • Leather
  • Relationships
  • POC in Kink
  • Gender (especially related to kink)
  • Sexual Orientation (especially related to kink)
  • Power Exchange
  • Orgasms (Ever had one? Never had one?)
  • Ethical Non-Monogamy
  • Relationships
  • Edge Play
  • Consent/Negotiations
  • Primal Play

And etc.

Leave a comment!

Tell me what your specialties/interests are. Make a list, if you’d like. Make it LONG, if you’d like.

I’ll contact you via email/message.

Also, let me know how to contact anyone who you think is an awesome resource that I should know—or tell them and allow them to decide whether to share their information with me.

What will happen?

Well, things like this:

See the authors? Those are people that added tot he book, and there are dozens more in the book quoted and sharing experience, giving back to the community.

I promise:

I won’t share your information (without your permission, for example, if someone is looking to connect with your specialties).

I won’t market to your email. This is 100% research/professional connection.

I will ALWAYS give you credit (you choose how you’re credited, even if it’s “Anonymous.”

It will be fun.

You can opt-out at ANY time.

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Sublimemily Says…

“I attended the DatingKinky event last weekend and it was incredible. It was so well organized and easy to navigate but more than that, the

One Comment on “Specific Experiences People (SEP) Versus Wide Experiences People (WEP), And A Call For Experts

Jinks Jones
August 18, 2019 at 5:10 am

Hi there! Here is my contribution to your specialties list.
My ‘expertise’ is the following areas:
swinging/Alternative Lifestyle
POC in swinging/Alternative Lifestyle
Sex Toy Reviewer
sex and the law/courts/criminal justice
ethical non-monogamy
life after rape/trauma/sexual assault
sex education for adults


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