Let’s Debate: Better Orgasms From Masturbation Or With Others?

Let’s Debate: Better Orgasms From Masturbation Or With Others?

So, I had read something on Facebook that said:

If you want her to have an orgasm that is the equivalent of fast food….only focus on her clitoris.

If you want her to have an orgasm that is the equivalent of a 9 course meal that is 5 stars…

I’d put it in my calendar to write about. I liked the idea of fast food orgasms versus gourmet meals, and wanted to play with that. I kept pushing the topic back, though, whenever it came up, because it seemed so judgy and Won Twoo Way™-ish to suggest that clitoral stimulation was somehow “less than” any other kind of orgasms for women (I count 12 other types in my class, for example).

Especially for all women.

But the last couple of weeks, I’ve had a lot of conversations with friends about masturbation, and most are shocked when I tell them I don’t particularly like masturbation.

I’m good at it, there’s nothing wrong there. In fact, the first time I squirted, I was masturbating…


Masturbation is my fast food orgasm.

How does the metaphor work?

Because it’s 100% predictable.

I go to McDonald’s and order a Filet-O-Fish, and it will taste exactly like every other Filet-O-Fish I’ve ever had with few exceptions. It’s fast. It’s easy. I don’t expect much out of it.

Like orgasm from masturbation.

DJ for 3 minutes before bed, and done!


A gourmet meal is (for me) always had with someone else. It takes longer, sure, which is part of the charm. It’s surprising. Little delights here and there, as they make my body react in ways that can only happen when I don’t know what’s coming (Ha!).

There’s more, though.

With fast food, there is one course. It’s all there and available from the get-go.

When I masturbate, it’s one-and-done. I can’t keep going. An orgasm for me locks my body into a state of instinct, not thought. I can’t slow down and bring myself through, creating wave after wave of orgasm like a lover can. I freeze, and fall apart. Dinner, over.

It can be the difference between one orgasm and 20, 30, or 200.

And then there is the joy of sharing a meal with friends. A longer sexual encounter is like a physical (and sometimes verbal) conversation. A back-and-forth of point and counter point, a shift in thought here, a casually mentioned idea there.

And that connective energy. There is nothing like feeling someone’s energy pouring into me, as they strive to please me, and enjoy how they make my body react.

Masturbation just doesn’t have that for me. Even when I put a little effort in.

I prefer an interaction. An engagement. A give and take.

But I’ll admit, I’ll give in to fast food every now and again… Sometimes, it just hits the spot.

What are your thoughts?

Do you get a better orgasm from masturbation? Because you know yourself better than anyone? Because it’s easier? Because there is a certain “order to thing?”


Do you get better orgasms at the hands of others? Because of the surprises? Because they can keep going? Because you enjoy their energy?

Which is your best, and why?

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