One More Time

One More Time

For me it wasn’t disinterest. It was an active and systematic (although possibly not intentional) verbal dismantling of my hopes and dreams by someone who was deeply insecure and troubled.

But I loved him.

And he said he loved me. So of course he wouldn’t lie, right? He would only say what he thought would help me. And he would not be wrong, because he was my soul mate and knew me better than anyone…

So, the problem MUST be me.

And my unrealistic expectations. And my requests for more or better, or even, sometimes, just DIFFERENT.

Because anything he felt like he could not live up to or anything that he didn’t want to do, well, I had NO RIGHT to ask for, and on top of that, NO ONE would, except me, which only proved how broken my brain was.

At least, though, AT LEAST, there was investment. It wasn’t me chasing him and trying to catch his eye, and believing that because he wasn’t interested in me, no one would be.

Because, I see that a lot.

And my soul dies a little bit at a time when someone bright and amazing and generous and loving allows themselves to be ground into ash by the callous and carelessly tossed opinions of near-strangers.

It took me nearly a decade (and amazing humans in my life) to deeply understand that he was wrong. That far from having unrealistic expectations, I actually did not set my sights high enough.

PLEASE don’t let yourself be lessened by other’s views.

PLEASE reach out to me or to someone you love and trust to fill you up with light and sunshine and goodness.

PLEASE, ALWAYS, when you begin to feel that way, ask someone you trust to tell you the truth, “Is this worth it?”

More Posts

An image of words: “Becoming aware of privilege should not be viewed as a burden or source of guilt, but rather, an opportunity to learn and be responsible so that we may work toward a more just and inclusive world.” One section urges those who are “white,” “male,” “Christian,” “cisgender,” “able-bodied,” and/or “heterosexual” to “check your privilege,” which it defines as “unearned access to social power based on membership in a dominant social group.”

Why I Am Kind To Idiots…

A friend of mine posted on FB a little rant about education: There are a ton of memes that get passed around about how school

KinkIn15: Shameless

The word of the week is “shameless”. To participate, create a 15-word story with shameless or shamelessly. I can’t wait to see your creativity! smiles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

KinkIn15: Hard

The word of the week is “hard”. To participate, create a 15-word story with hard, harder, or hardest. I can’t wait to see your creativity!

Read More »
X