This is the second in a three-part series, based on a recent Craigslist ad. The first is here:

I Posted An Ad On Craigslist And I Got Compared To An Alcoholic Or Druggie

This particular reply is related this this part of my ad:

I’m moderately attractive. Some think I’m beautiful. I’m curvy, a US size 8-10.

Here is the first message I got from the next humdinger in my “Douchebags of Craigslist” display:

I wish women would stop quoting female dress sizes to men to express their body size, as if men know what that is/what it means and also, that somehow, it describes the woman’s whole body.

Now, I will be clear. I get what he’s saying. I mean, sure, most men go through their lives completely and willfully ignorant of most womanly stuff. Periods, makeup, what it’s like to walk in high heels, clothing sizes, and of course, the clit.

However, as I always say, if you don’t have anything nice to say… well, fuck that, I figure when someone is rude to me on the internetz, it’s game on. Here’s my reply:

“Your ignorance is not our problem.

Nor is your whiny attitude.

Best of luck fulfilling your fantasies!”

I thought that was pretty fair, right? Well, apparently not. He felt a need to reply:

Unfortunately, I think you will find it is your problem when you are the one who advertises a need.
You desire to attract but you fail to communicate and you also don’t care that you are not communicating, which expresses what your mindset is all about. Women need men far more than men need women and when a woman harbors an abrasive & mean manner, she will be destined to spend many years in the wilderness of disconnection…..and posting ads on Craigslist.

Your face did tell me you might be vicious and so it appears to be so.

I’d like to note a few passages here, namely, “I think you will find it is your problem when you are the one who advertises a need,” and “Women need men far more than men need women.”

I think they come into play in his next reply, so remember those.

Honestly, I was tickled with his answer. I’m not why, but it really did make me laugh. Perhaps it was the “wilderness” of disconnection that just seems SO FAR from the amazing people I interact with every day… or the “many years of posting ads on Craigslist,” which I’ve already enjoyed, and hope to continue enjoying.

Now that I’m writing this, I think perhaps his “many years” are making him a bit bitter, and he just doesn’t realize that it’s HIM, and not all the vicious women.

But I digress and get ahead of myself, both. My reply:

“LOL! I am so far from vicious.

My “need” has so far generated 132 replies in less than an hour. So much that I turned my ad off.

You see, if you wanted to know what my body looks like, it would have been easy to get to know me and find out.

Instead, you had to write to me with your complaints. Which is highly out of place in the world of courtship and love.

So, I pointed that out to you in the same manner you pointed your thoughts out to me. Don’t like it when it’s dished back to you, huh? Well, then don’t send those vibes out into the world.

Again, best of luck fulfilling your fantasies! I won’t respond again.”

And his reply/diatribe, with my comments now inserted between, because there is too much gold to wait until the end. I hope you’ll agree:

All females get 100-150 replies to their ads. Many men are not particular, especially the unmatched high quality of men who troll CL. So don’t flatter yourself. Enjoy your schlepping through them, and all the back and forth, all weekend.

Am I the only one appreciating the irony of his description of the “unmatched high quality of men who troll CL”?

And wasn’t he going on about my need, earlier, and how I was the one with a problem, since I had a need.

Hmmm.

I didn’t need to know what your body looks like, I simply pointed out the discrimination that takes place and which you are perpetuating. Women seem to want equality but they remain stubbornly fixated on the inequality of the past. Double standards, madam.

I am a bit confused on how posting my dress size and stating that I am curvy has anything to do with inequality.

If I hadn’t stated that I would not reply again, I may have asked about that.

I wouldn’t also waste my time “getting to know you” just in order to find out some woman’s body weight, which is quite different to dress sizes, which aren’t really accurate either. Really, you think strangers have that kind of time to waste? That’s quite an unrealistic opinion of youself and your appeal, you seem to have.

I didn’t think strangers had the kind of time to send messages to people they have zero interest in just to whine about their profile…

Oh wait, yes I did.

And Interestingly, I’ve found that most people think I’m unrealistic about my appeal in the other direction. But I still think they just love me. And frankly. I’m OK with that.

Rose-colored Nookie glasses for all! *grins*

When you put yourself in the public space, you open the door to opinion and not just to so-called good opinion. You shouldn’t complain, as its part of the deal. A bit too much for you was it? Ahh….never mind, maybe you’ll grow out if it, one day.

Oh. Now I’m being lectured about “standing the heat in the kitchen.” Oh my. If irony were an Olympic competition…

Fantasies are never fulfilled, because they and reality can never exist in the same space.

And this gem.

Which is, ultimately, probably the root of this guy’s incredible doucheyness. If this is what he believes, well, life must be a pretty sad place for him, right?

I mean, I know that some of the things that brighten my every day are memories of fantasies being fulfilled (WAY greater pleasure than I ever could have imagined), and the idea that even more will happen in the future.

In fact, tonight, I very specifically have a fantasy of pawing a hot young man or two, just for fun, and (here’s the fantasy part) them enjoying it as much as I do.

*smiles*