Unlike the days of being “in the know,” and searching the classified section of The Village Voice to find like-minded kinky folk, kink is no longer invite-only.
Some bemoan this fact.
They enjoyed the exclusivity, the smugness associated with taking very specific steps to gain a title or recognition or entrée into “the lifestyle.”
And that’s OK.
I enjoy it far more now.
I enjoy the amazing perspectives that so many people bring to kink. I enjoy the creativity and energy and wildness. I enjoy new and different ways of doing things.
Because it’s more organic now.
And young people are not shunned for being “too young.” It’s less who you know, and more what you know. And what you know is available to EVERYONE.
Just look around FetLife.
There are amazing people offering brilliant writings with fabulous perspectives.
Like these two very different perspectives on Dominance/Mastery:
She Needs to Know That You’re CAPABLE of Cruelty
A Master Is… (FetLife Link)
Wow! Both hit me in the gut (in a good way).
And both are people I would likely have never encountered in the old days of signaling interests through the back pages of local rags.
And learning is just the tip.
Now, instead of “getting in” with a specific group, ingratiating yourself, doing a bunch of tasks to prove your worth, JUST to meet people who might be interested in some of the same freaky shit you are into, you can show up at a munch.
You can pay $20 to attend a social or play party.
You can watch masters enjoying their craft in semi-private-public, rather than hoping that you will get a coveted invite to someone’s basement dungeon.
Sure, there a more people making mistakes, now.
There are jerks and assholes running rampant (then, too, just FYI).
There are MORE of all the good and all the bad.
But there is more more of the good, in my view.
I LOVE the great world of kink, and the fact that it’s growing.
My playground gets bigger every day.