More than anything else, arousal is what drives good sex. It is the spark. It is also the cornerstone of a sexuality based on pleasure rather than on performance. If you want more exciting and more satisfying sex, go for greater arousal. – Bernie Zilbergeld

Arousal is in the mind.

Did you know that while many orgasms come from physical stimulation, that it’s possible to orgasm from mental stimulus alone?

That means with a word, a look, a command, I can feel something that most people think is only a result of close physical touch, or I can make that happen in others.

Anyone who follows me will also know I love a good debate (I won’t compromise, LOL!), and that’s a brain thing, too.

So are whispered words of affection, snarled dirty talk, terms of endearment and humiliation.

So are the feelings of love, lust, and need.

Some of my favorite things in the sex stuff are brain stuff.

So, I go for the brain stuff. The intimacy. The dance of wits and courtship.

Yes, I also love the sex stuff. The slap of flesh against flesh, sweat mingling and moans twining around each other. The arch of pleasure through a body, goosebumps and shivers…

But without the brain stuff, the body stuff is a mere bite of dessert (which admittedly can be very satisfying, sometimes), compared to the complexity of a full meal of 8 courses of gourmet food, good friends, laughter and love.

Yeah, I’ll take the brain stuff, and if I get the sex stuff with it—when I do—it’s even better.