In the past week, I’ve spoken with three people who had been stood up and are feeling discouraged with dating. Like it’s a direct commentary on their worthiness as humans.
The week before, two.
The week before that, five or six.
And now, I experienced it (not the first time, but the first time since the pandemic lock-down).
You see, I was stood up this weekend. Here’s how it went down:
Sunday was, as Pet put it, “A real Texas Turdfloater” outside. The street was a river, and the rain was falling in sheets from the sky.
The kind of day you really want to be inside, naked, and doing fuck-all.
But we were looking forward to meeting someone new, hanging out, and seeing what happened.
So, I kept in contact. They were on their way. They were parked. They were waiting out the rain.
We went to the original location, and it was closed, even though it should have been open. Let them know. They said they were parked and waiting. We moved to another spot, about a block away. Let them know that, too. They asked if they should meet up there. I affirmed, they thanked me, and then…
Texted to let them know where we were inside.
“Hey, everything OK? Lost?”
“Not sure what’s up. We’ll stay until Pet finishes his beer.”
Finally, “Ok. Whatever happened, I wish you all the best in life.”
Nothing. Not, “Hey, something came up,” not “I’ve changed my mind.” Just nothing.
I don’t get it. I mean, that’s their right, to do what is best for them. And they obviously felt that whatever was best for them was to not only not meet us, even though they were supposedly a minute or two away in their vehicle, but also to not let us know that they were not going to meet us.
And honestly, that’s OK.
Maybe they got cold feet.
Maybe they saw me and didn’t like what they saw.
Maybe they were never there to begin with.
Whatever the reason, it’s their right.
I gave them that slot of time. That they chose to waste it is OK.
Aside from going out in the rain when I could have stayed home and worked on my current art project, I wasn’t really out anything.
(When I plan to meet people alone, I nearly always do so someplace I’d enjoy being by myself if they don’t show, and I bring a book just in case—it happens often enough that I believe in being prepared.)
Pet and I went home. I worked on my art a bit, then we went out for dinner and had a shark boner meal (as orgasmic as any sex, ever), and chilled in the evening.
So, for all of you who have recently been stood up, and are getting discouraged: It happens to EVERYONE.
Me, you, everyone.
And it’s OK.
Take it as a sign that whatever was not meant to be, and appreciate the world moving such people out of your way.