In her Service Basics presentation for Dating Kinky’s Life in Submission (March ’21 — https://datingkinky.com/learning/life-in-submission/ ), UnrulyNerdGirl made the point that as a service submissive, she preferred to call herself freelance, rather than single.
And knowing her as I do, and seeing how she posts on social media, it connected with me, and got me thinking about what it means when you consider your service a vocation and calling, versus something tied to your relationship status.
Because I’ve been a freelancer.
I’ve done web development, writing, graphics, consultation and more.
And here’s the thing, a freelancer is not less valuable in between projects.
Just like a single person is not less valuable in between relationships, although that’s what people seem to think.
A freelancer is constantly honing their skills, both on the job and off. Learning new things to make them better at their work, to make their work more valuable.
While some single people do that, it’s not something that’s expected or even encouraged by most.
Freelancers are always building their portfolio, to better show off to the next employer.
Single people often seem to go blank in between relationships, waiting for the next person to come around to mold themselves to.
UNG, for example, will cook amazing meals, post them on social media, and dedicate them to her dominant—the one she will find at some point in the future.
I’m guessing this approach is not for everyone.
And that’s OK.
There are lessons in here, though, for those currently looking for the right fit.
Even as a dominant I am constantly looking for ways to improve and grow and assess myself, and increase my personal value and skillset.