FFS! NO! Men Are NOT Fixer-Uppers!

FFS! NO! Men Are NOT Fixer-Uppers!

I got a message this morning (before I even looked at my scheduled writing for today), and frankly, it hit a nerve.

I’ve seen WAYYYY too much of this lately, from all genders, but especially from men, and I fed up with this shit.

You have a set of standards and mannerisms you expect, them you must mold and shape a willing man to your expected standards and mannerisms. Men come unrefined, wild, rough around the edges, so you have to train the man you want toward your expectations. That takes patience and time.

I don’t expect men—or anyone—to behave as I wish.

That’s fucking ridiculous.

WHY should I have the expectation of having to train a man to interact with me casually?

To me, that’s just a pathetic fucking excuse for behaving any which way and not learning or taking responsibility for it, because you weren’t “taught better.”


Men have the same ability to choose to grow and learn and interact as human fucking beings as any gender does. And many men do. And I choose those men.

And yes, there are other genders who think the same thing about men. Infantilizing them. Making these same excuses. Acting as if they are not equal to other, ‘more enlightened’ genders.

I prefer to choose the most amazing men out of those who approach me.

Those men who set me at ease, inflame my passions, and (often) eagerly want to serve.

And behavior modification is one of my favorite kinks.

But like a sculptor, I’d prefer to start with the highest quality material before creating my art… and my art is entirely collaborative, which means having the most amazing partner is a GOOD thing.

Doing it my way means that none of my serious relationships over the past 26 years has lasted less than 4 years, and that only one D/s relationship lasted less than that, and that’s because he passed away.

And it also means almost zero drama in my playmate/dating relationships.

It also means that I do not make or accept excuses for poor behavior to attitudes. I do not take on fix-me-ups.

I do not look for men who need my handling to be good people.

Because damn it, regardless of who says it, men are NOT inferior. NOT clueless. NOT incapable. NOT less-than.

PLEASE let go of this lame trope.


More Posts

Love, Serve, Give

As a kinky dating site, I feel like many people are immediately going to think of submission. I mean, I did when I first created

Ego: If you start believing your own greatness...

Leggo My Ego!

If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity. MARINA ABRAMOVIC, The Economist, Sep. 15, 2010 A lot of comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Icon Picker for Icons

Font Awesome icons are awesome, and they’re supported natively in Zenith. Use Gantry 5’s powerful Icon Picker to easily add icons to menus, particles, and

Read More »